you got it (the write stuff)

Dear, diary:

I’m not happy with my blog right now.

I’m holding back.

I’m being lazy.

I’m lacking focus.

Here’s the problem:

My balls aren’t to a wall of any sort.

Not even a half wall.

Or a railing.

Balls are in.

Balls need to be out.

Am I saying balls a lot?

I want to write fearlessly.

I want to write as if I think the fucking words will expire if I don’t get them down quickly enough.

And I want to write “fucking” more.

And I want to do it now.

NOW.

I’ve lost that blogging loving feeling (whoa-oh oh) and I’m afraid I won’t get it back.

Not afraid like I’m afraid I’ll accidentally watch Bridesmaids, but I’m kinda nervous, yo.

Must. Fix. It.

I want to write like I don’t care who’s reading.

Not you.

Or him.

Or her.

Or your mom.

I want to write like I’ll be equally satisfied if I get a thousand comments (and three hundred marriage proposals) or nothing but crickets.

I want to write things that make people jealous.

I want to write things that’ll make me concerned I’ll never be able to write that way again.

I feel like blogging has changed a lot since I loved it most.

People are specializing.

People are monetizing.

People are twitter-izing.

And more power to them.

But I want to find the people that are bringing it.

And I want you to point them out to me. (Seriously.)

I want to read people who are putting everything into their writing.

Whatever they’re writing.

If it’s a recipe blog, I want to read people who are greasing the hell out of their goddamn baking sheets.

I’m not happy with blogging in general, really.

But I can’t control that.

I CAN, however, do my part to try to make blogging awesomer.

I surely can.

I want to write words that…

Need to be written.
Belong together.
Make you stop.

I want to write words that make me NEED to write so fucking many more.

I want to write things that make me afraid I’ve gone too far.

And then I want to write things that go farther.

I want to write.

Balls meet wall.

Let’s do this.

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14 Responses

  1. joyvox says:

    Dance like nobody is watching…nah…

    WRITE LIKE NOBODY IS READING!

    Then you’re writing just for you. Chase the muse as she trips along through the crevices of your imagination. She’s a tricky little bitch, but she’ll give up the goods once you corner her.

    I love your stuff here and even shamelessly stole the word doodle format once, giving you due credit, of course. http://web.me.com/joyvox/preppy_bohemian/Blog/Entries/2011/4/26_Sheets.html

    Keep going, Peter. I can’t wait to see what comes out of your word cauldron next.

  2. Erin says:

    Agreed. Unfortunately I don’t know a heckuva lot of balls to the wallzers, myself included. I used to be braver and then my family started reading my blog (barf). I’d have a shit-ton more material if I could write about those crazy assholes. Best of luck and I’ll work on my edge.

  3. megan says:

    I want to write “fucking” more, too. I always hold back for whatever reason, but really? Anyone who’s spent more than an hour talking to me outside of a professional setting knows that I say “fuck” A LOT. Good luck with the “balls to the wall” thing!

  4. Heather says:

    I want to write more too. Thank you for inspiring me.

  5. Marian says:

    maybe i’m a fucking asshole for saying this, but i think you should read my fucking blog. because i am really trying to be in the place you are describing. really trying. balls out. i am glad to meet you and read your words via the indie ink thing. yep, glad.

  6. CDG says:

    I’m just Marian’s sheep. Well, not just her sheep, but anyway. She sent me here. I like it. I may stay. Especially with all this balls-out writing.

    Gotta respect that.

  7. EmilyRosa says:

    holy fuck

    you make me realize why I’m a writer.

    you make me want to write more, and more real.

    and bridesmaids was hilarious

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