Before I get to your questions, I have a cute ACN story.
When I called The ACN last night, her Mommy told me all about how excited The ACN got yesterday to select, and help pack up, a bunch of her toys to give to the Salvation Army. She loved the idea of giving toys to little boys and girls who didn’t have many toys.
Her Daddy went to drop the stuff off and ran into a buddy of his. His buddy has three kids, and they just lost everything in a house fire. The Daddy went home and told the Mommy and the ACN about this. They asked the ACN and she wanted to do more. She got SO excited to give more stuff, including a bunch of gift cards she got for Xmas.
She was still excited last night when I was asking her about it.
OK. The questions…
123valerie asked, “If you had to cut off either both of your arms OR your penis, which would you do?”
Well, that one is actually quite simple to answer. Since I am pretty confident that I could still operate my remote control with my penis, I would pick my arms. Plus, they grow back, right? Right?
Princess of the Universe wants to know if she can have Taye Diggs.
Uhm, sure. Fill your boots.
Mindy went all loco with questions…
1) I’ve lost my mojo too. Maybe it’s the weather?
These questions are supposed to be about me.
2) I tried to do this Q&A thing too, and everyone was like “yeah, we’ll totally ask you questions”, but I have gotten zero questions. WTF?!
Seriously. Don’t you have your own damn blog?
3) Would you rather eat a pound of raw bacon or drink a cup of your own urine, and why?
Are you kidding me? I’d rather eat a pound of raw bacon than drink tomato juice. Raw bacon looks awesome. Smells all mapley. And you get that satisfying feeling of peeling off one strip at a time. This one is no contest.
Michelle was wondering, “if you could go back in time what year would you go back to, why, and what would you do?”
The year: 1960.
What I would do: Angie Dickinson.
You would not believe how much time I spent debating between that reply and “1964. Bewitched’s Elizabeth Montgomery.” Seriously. Way too long.
Katie asked, “If a movie was made about your life, who would you want to play you? Why?”
Good one! I would have to say Vince Vaughan. Same height. Sadly, similar foreheads. (Though his is bigger!) And I think he could capture the essence of my innate sense of whimsy, combined with a touch of crankiness and impatience.
Airam wanted to know, “When are you going to do another youtube video?”
I am actually thinking about doing another one soon. Mostly because blogging is boring the hell out of me lately. The videos are usually spur of the moment decisions and based, at least a little, on being too lazy to type that day.
The last time I did one, some creepy chick e-mailed me to ask me to do my next one shirtless. That pretty much turned me off the entire process. I could barely make the video and send it to her.
As far as you know.
tiff sneakily tried to out me with, “So if romancing Taye Diggs isn’t up your alley, what male actor wouldn’t you mind romancing? In a totally hetero-way of course?”
It is a little disconcerting that I came up with this answer so quickly. Josh Duhamel. That dude is pretty.
Mel got greedy and asked two questions:
1) So which product can you not live without?
DVR. Seriously. How did we watch TV before them? We were practically Amish.
2) If you didn’t live in Canada, where in the United States would you live and why?
OK. This is the question that I gave the most thought too.
I started with a large list of American cities. I looked at average temperatures and precipitation. I looked at the number of disasters (natural and otherwise) over the past century. I looked at employment stats. I looked at housing costs. I looked at the number of professional and major college sports teams I could watch live in the area. I made lists and charts and graphs.
And then I said, “Fuck it. Charleston, South Carolina.”
Hot women with amaaaaaazing accents.
jenbun1 wants to know, “If you had to pick a song as a “theme song” for your life, what would it be?”
I think about this quite often. No, really. And even though it represents a level of badassnicity that exists only in my head…
lateformyfuneral wonders, “If you could take credit for someone else’s blog, which one and why?”
Ooooh. Intriguing. But, it is more about individual posts with me.
Clink sometimes will write a post that makes me say, “YES! Exactly!” Out loud. And then I’ll e-mail her with “YES! Exactly!” I’m creative like that.
It is awesome when Molly writes with such love about her family. You feel it.
Hellafied can take a “simple” emotion and write about it in a way that gives it such depth and life that you wonder if you’ve ever felt it that strongly.
sidewaysrain writes posts about visiting various places on the globe that somehow make you feel like you are both part of the scene, as well as sitting back and taking it in. It’s a gift.
I could go on and on about how all of you write certain types of posts that affect me in some way. But, I am very, very lazy. And this post is getting long. Don’t be offended if I didn’t mention you!
Crap. I feel guilty now.
brazilian girls asked a whole mess of questions:
1) if were to sleep with one famous celebrity lesbian, who would it be?
Hmmm. I can’t really think of any hot celeb lesbians. If I tell you that Eva Mendes is a lesbian, will you believe me? Because I’d throw you all down a flight of stairs just to get to hold her hand.
2) if you were to magically become a Simpsons character for a day, which one would it be?
Disco Stu. ALWAYS Disco Stu.
3) would you ever pierce your nipples?
Definitely not. Not a fan. On anyone. Ever. Plus, my ears (back in tha day) were enough.
4) favourite politician. must pick one. can be anyone in world.
Ever? Pierre Trudeau.
Fictional? Jed Bartlett.
Living? Probably Obama.
5) what did you want to be when you grew up, when you were a kid? have you ever thought about heaving everything now, for that? or are you doing it?
I wanted to be a writer when I was a kid. If it had been “writer of a half-assed blog,” I’d be living the dream right now!
6) favourite Breakfast Club character and why.
tia the explorer is wondering “is there really a town of avonlea?”
Steph asking about sex? I am shocked. SHOCKED! “What is your number 1 sexual turn off?”
mr. ska also had a similar wondering, “What singular turn-off about future wife do you consider “fixable”, and why?
I think it would be cheering for the wrong sports teams. (Such as the New England Patriots or NewYork Knicks.) It would be very disturbing at first. It really would. But, I think I could bring her over to the side of good. Whispering “The Colts are goooood!” in her ear while she sleeps. Or dropping hints about how “Jimmy Choo is a big Toronto Raptors fan.”
On the other hand, she could just put on a Patriots apron and I’d be all types of screwed.
And there you have it. You know so much more about me now. In some countries, we’d be married. Thank crap we don’t live in those countries, eh?