word doodles with a purpose

Thanks to everyone who rocked the vote in yesterday’s post. It was close, but there was a winner. However, I don’t feel like writing about it. Or the other two. Such are the mercurial whims of a blogger. Are there non-mercurial whims? Whatever. I plan on writing the winning post tomorrow.

Instead, today I am going to post a word doodle of sorts. I am writing something and there is a proposal scene in it. I am trying to get the wording of dude’s proposal just perfect. (I may actually post a rough draft for feedback later this week.) So, I decided to jot down some notes about the woman. I want the proposal to really fit who she is and how homeboy feels about her.

I am posting this to show that I can’t even make simple notes in point form without it meandering on me…

Hiding behind a veil of faux complexities.
Thinking that it makes her unique.
Hoping.
We all do it.
She somehow makes it work.
The image she puts out
is but a small part of who she is.
Or was.
The image she puts out
is not how she sees herself.
Or ever really did.
Maybe.
He’s seen behind the curtain.
He’s fucked.
He fills in the gaps with only positives.
He admits that.
Still…
Everyone else pales.
He is almost angered
by people only seeing the image
she puts out.
He knows she’d be spectacular
even in less appealing packaging.
Appealing is the wrong word.
He can’t find the right one.
Hiding behind a veil of faux complexities.
Thinking that is what makes her unique.
He knows better.

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No Responses

  1. Michelle and the City says:

    yeah, I LOVED this. LOVED.

  2. mindy says:

    I like this.

    (Yes, that’s me, paying YOU a compliment. Weird, huh?)

  3. Clink says:

    You know, on the way to work this morning Dashboard Confessional’s “The Places You Have Come to Fear the Most” came on. Your post and that song are in the same vein and, yes, I love them both.

  4. Wendy says:

    Very nice.

  5. Peter says:

    michelle, sid & wendy: Thanks!

    mindy: This is… strange. What do we do if we aren’t arguing? Scrabulous?

    clink: Thanks! I don’t know the song, but I am going to go check it out. Right now. No, really.

  6. distracted spunk says:

    Intriguing!

    A friend of mine got engaged this weekend. He brought her to the beach where there were Christmas lights spelling out “Marry Me.” She asked, “Who is that for?”

    Somehow, I think your female would be that kind of person. Wanting to be complex, but instead, being rather naive.

  7. Hellafied says:

    I missed voting, I’m sorry, Peter. I closed my laptop on Wednesday morning and didn’t open it until now.

    p.s. I like the meanders.

  8. libby says:

    nicely put! you’re a fab writer peter!

  9. Susie says:

    I really like this.

    I love that Dashboard song too, and you’re right, Clink, I see a lot of similarities.

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