Where the fuck IS "the danger zone?"
As you may have heard, the U.S. Navy has retired the F-14 Tomcat.
I’m definitely not a military historian, but, dudes, this is the plane from TOP GUN!
And it’s now retired.
First of all, what if Navy pilots in the future have the need? You know, the need for speed.
Secondly… Damn. This makes me feel old.
That movie came out twenty years ago. Anthony Edwards still had hair. Meg Ryan still had likeability. And Tom Cruise still had a personality. It was a simpler time, my friends.
Speaking of simpler times, it has come to my attention that one of my high school (and a little bit after) girlfriends has been reading this blog for over a week. And could be reading it… right… now… She’s obviously a brave woman.
It is funny for me – and probably much less so for her – to remember what I was like as a boyfriend way back then. I thought that as long as I didn’t cheat, and called/visited regularly, that I deserved some kind of “super boyfriend award.” Possibly a cash prize. Definitely a trophy.
My criteria for picking potential girlfriends was also much less complex back in tha day. (Oh, that’s right, I wrote “tha.”) If she was cute, pleasant, had an aesthetically pleasing bum region, and didn’t make me want to throw myself out of a moving vehicle, I was pretty much sold.
It’s hard to believe I was ever so young.
These days I need all of those things… plus the (much mentioned) willingness to dress-up like Wonder Woman. (Yeah, I’m getting tired of that “joke” too.)
Also, I mostly gravitated towards short blondes in my youth, now it’s taller brunettes. It’s called evolving, people.
[Peter has just realized that he has completely lost his train of thought and is just going to wing the rest of this.]
I’d like to think that I’ve improved as a boyfriend with each relationship I’ve had. Experience, plus the wisdom that comes with aging, has taught me a great deal of things. In some ways it would be very noticible to anyone I dated back then. Other stuff is much more subtle.
Probably the biggest difference is my willingness to actually communicate now. To share those… What do you call them? Oh yeah, “feelings.”
I do think that not all women want as much communication as they claim to. Once some of that mystery is gone, things change for them. However, that deserves a blog post all it’s own.
So, yeah, I communicate now.
I also listen to what women say. Apparently when they talk, it is not just to show off how cute and sexy their lips look whilst talking.
I’ve also learned that I am sometimes drawn to women with “Daddy issues” and that I like to play the “white knight.” Again, these are blog posts all their own.
I like to think that each girlfriend gets a better version of me than her predecessor. Of course, without the benefit of before and after experiences, it would be hard for them to understand that. Knowing me, I’ll probably just tell them.
“That’s pretty arrogant, considering the company you are in.”
“I like that in a pilot.”
What does all of this mean?
Well, basically my next girlfriend is going to be getting a better boyfriend than my last one did. Also, my earliest girlfriends had to suffer for the benefit of my more recent ones.
And the plane from TOP GUN has been retired.
Good bye, F-14 Tomcat. We hardly knew ye.
(Anyone who makes a “TomKat” joke in the comments gets beaten with a sack of oranges.)
[I don’t even want to re-read this one before hitting “Publish Post.” In my defence, it’s early on a Sunday morning.]