What the French might call "le rambleage"

Though they’d likely use funny lines and little hats over some of the vowels.

And, yes, I know what those little dealies are called and what sounds go with them. I took French every year K-12. And even took a class in university. I needed a language credit. And German just sounded way too angry all the time.

For Christmas I got this jobbie that converts my mountain bike into a pseudo-exercise bike. It is pretty slick and very simple. It basically jacks up my back wheel and… well, it’s not really much more complicated than that.

It is pretty sweet. Good exercise, and you don’t have to deal with pesky things like people or (shudder) nature.

One problem is that when using things like exercise bikes, threadmills, etc. I get insanely bored. I am not so good with repetitive activities. I could never work on an assembly line. My mind wanders and my hand would get lopped off on my first day.

When I used to lobster fish in the summer, I’d be emptying out traps. Crabs get chucked back overboard (quickly) and the lobsters get put in a box for banding. On more than a few occasions, I was replaying scenes from my favourite movies in my head while chucking crabs into the lobster banding box. I even tossed a lobster or two overboard. People don’t like it when you do that.

My mind can go anywhere. I could be writing haikus or horror musicals featuring singing cockroaches in my head. No, really. I’ve done both.

So, I came up with a plan for my basement mountain biking excurions. I put my portable DVD player in front of my bike, so that I have something to watch. This morning I was enjoying some of Season 2 of Seinfeld. Good times.

But, this plan isn’t perfect. Because I’ve seen all these episodes of Seinfeld dozens of times, my mind still wanders a bit…

This morning it spent some time thinking about how last night’s episode of “The O.C.’ was the worst… episode… EVER. And I never thought that I would say that for a Taylor-focused episode. I wouldn’t hire Regis Philbin’s daughter to write my grocery list.

The fun beginning to this season was just an aberration. A little post-Marissa honeymoon maybe. The plot was lost – quite literally – after season 1. Too much melodrama, not enough snarky fun.

Now they are just damaging the legacy (such that it is) and crapping all over my good memories. It’s like when Michael Jordan came out of retirement to play with Washington. Or like when you take a nice young lady home with you one night, and the next day you see her pistol-whip a priest. Or something.

I started my “morning pages” for The Artist’s Way this morning. Whoooo!

Essentially, these are three pages that you have to write every single morning. They can be about anything at all. And there are no “wrong” things to write. The purpose is to trick our enternal censor. Because there is no “wrong” answer, that whiney sumbitch has nothing that he can complain about.

I don’t remember what I wrote. I can’t show them to anybody. And I can’t even read them myself. That’s not what they are about.

I thought it would be harder to do that it actually was.

Of course, the fact that I can prattle on for three pages shouldn’t surprise any of you.

In fact, I just mentioned that in an e-mail reply to fellow blogger Mood Indigo. I remarked that I had nothing to write in my blog this morning, but yet my e-mail was longer (and better) than War & Peace.

And now this post is also stretching out pretty well.

But, I know that blog posts are more about quality over quantity (of words.) It’s not like sexual conquests or anything. (I kid, I kid.)

Still, even I am amused by my own verbosity from time to time.

But, seriously, Summer’s hallucinations on “The O.C.” last night?

Come on.

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14 Responses

  1. Eve says:

    Lobster branding? Wha…?

    And what’s so great about the O.C.? I don’t get it.

  2. James Cooper says:

    I used to work out to DVDs of Futurama. Unfortunately when doing an array of push-ups, crunchs, and curls the TV tended to be a distraction. Now I just bicycle to and from work so all senses are focused on not becoming roadkill. I should start up a home workout routine again though to get a more rounded out fitness regimen. Maybe what I need is an inspirational soundtrack, with songs like the Rocky theme…

  3. Mood Indigo says:

    Summer was hallucinating? Wow.

    How long does the Artist’s Way take? Maybe I should take it on my trip – would that be a good exercise along with my soul searching?

  4. Jennie says:

    Once I got to the part where you talked about catching lobsters, I totally lost focus for the rest of your post. Do you really go out to catch lobsters? Can you do this on a daily basis? If you do catch them often, can I come over? I don’t think Brian would have a problem with this because he knows how much I love to eat lobster.

  5. Peter says:

    Eve: Lobster banding. Putting the little rubber bands on the claws. Also, not good when daydreaming. Got nipped more than a few times. The O.C. had a certain charm during the early years.

    James: Yeah, tv would not be great for stuff other than bikes and treadmills.

    Jennie: hahah Brian is a good fella like that. I used to fish when I was in university. But, I do live in an area where people fish regularly (May 10-July 10) and you can get good lobsters pretty much year round.

    Megan: I think they book takes something like 12 weeks, if you follow it the way it is laid out. Might actualy fit nicely with your trip. It is definitely for more than just writing.

  6. pinknest says:

    what about just watching tv while on the bike?

    you sorted through lobster! awesome.

  7. Peter says:

    pinknest: Hmmm. I have the bike dealie set up in the basement, but if instead I put it directly in front of a TV with a satellite dish and pvr…

    I think you may be on to something.

    I did indeed sort through many a lobster. Though I have to say that at 5 am, as one is clamped onto your hand, it loses a bit of it’s charm.

  8. The Stormin Mormon says:

    Hmm… Lobster.

    I was pretty much lost after that, but when you mentioned the O.C. I did a bit of a double take. If it wasn’t for the fact that I know why you watch the show, I would think it were a little gay.

  9. Eve says:

    I realized it was banding. But I just prefer the mental image of branding lobsters.

  10. Peter says:

    stormin’: Early on it had it’s charms, I’m telling ya.

    eve: Ha! You are right, that is totally a better image. Now I feel silly.

  11. Amy says:

    Doesn’t everyone see a hippyish person from their past when they have “champy”?

    Definitely get the bike out of the basement! Put it somewhere where there is more stimulation or you don’t stand a chance of keeping it up. In front of the TV is great. Personally, if I worked out at home, I’d never keep it up. The gym is a far more stimulating environment. Not to mention, I don’t like looking like a wimp in front of others so I work way harder there than I would at home.

  12. Steph says:

    I fucking hate the OC. My eyes glaze over and i want to mutilate myself just to FEEL something!
    Ghastly abomination of a tv show!

  13. notfearingchange says:

    I hear ya….but try being paid to sit in a cubicle with no window and lack of access to internet sites.

  14. Peter says:

    Amy: It would be easy to make excuses for not going to a gym. But, if you are too lazy to just walk downstairs…

    Steph: So you enjoy it.. you don’t enjoy it… I’m a little confused here. ;)

    Notfearingchange: Yeah, I have some experience in that world too. And they expect you to shave every day. that is MADNESS.

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