we have adorable twerps in my family
The ACN has a new ‘do. It is shorter, with bangs AND a couple of pink streaks.
She is some tattoos away from looking like a roller derby girl. Or a decorator on Ace of Cakes.
It looks ADORABLE.
Two things that I learned this weekend really make the ACN laugh.
1) When we’ve played Kesha’s “Tik Tok” so many times (at 8 on a Sunday morning, cranked up, while her mommy sleeps a floor away) that Uncle Pete starts signing along. (On a side note, I wake up many mornings feeling Like P-Diddy.)
2) When her dog (Nipper) suddenly runs up from the basement, let’s out some bark-cough, nails me on my foot with her front paws, as if to tell me that Timmy fell down the well, then runs back down the basement, and I say, “That dog is loopy as fuck.”
The other day, The Monkey was sitting at the dining room table, while I stood talking to her and drinking a smoothie.
Monkey: And me and Michelle wanted to do something together this summer because last summer we didn’t do anything together and I was going to do all-star drama camp again but she wanted to do tennis so we’re going to do tennis and I wanted to do all-star drama again but my dad said why not try something different but now Michelle is crying so I think she has to go away on vacation tonight so it will just be me in tennis and at Canadian tire today my dad wouldn’t buy me the 120 dollar racket but he grabbed one and I checked and it was twenty dollars and…
Peter: That makes sense.
Monkey: And tonight he is going to sign me up for tennis but I have to do something tonight at 8 at the pharmacy….
We stare at each other for a good thirty seconds.
Monkey: I can’t remember what it is… It starts with “in”…
Monkey: That’s it!
I introduced The Monkey to Facebook Scrabble the other day. It led to this phone call.
Monkey: Hello. Play.
Peter: I was washing the dishes.
Peter: Fine. I’ll do it now.
Monkey: Play. Okay?
I even have American cousins. One was having a chat with her 5 year old son the other day.
Colton: I don’t know what to get the kids to call me when I become a teacher.
Mother: Mr. Green?
Colton: Or Mr. G., if I want to be cool. Or Mr Colton.
Colton: Or Mr. Handsome.