sometimes i wish i had an identical twin
not just to mess with people
but we would mess with people
and if i told a joke that didn’t land
like “if i ever write a horror-porn
i will call it
i know what you did last hummer
and nobody laughed
i’d later claim
“i didn’t tell that joke,
it was my twin brother Ozymandias.”
and if we got into a fight and 
we both wished we had no brother
and he was all
“not my fault the egg divided”
i’d reply “the what whatted?”
cause, really, i didn’t pay attention in biology class
because the tall blonde wore a black bra
under her white NKOTB t-shirt with super stretched neck hole
and he’d laugh at me
sometimes i’m glad i don’t have an identical twin

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  1. Chloe says:

    I have actually had the same conversation with myself, in so many words.

  2. Little Fish says:

    Thank you for starting off my morning with “I Know What You Did Last Hummer.” It’s setting an excellent tone for the day.

    ps- The tone I’m referring to is laughter, not hummers

  3. BS says:

    You are whacked out of your head in the most delightfully charming way.

  4. Thrice says:

    Ozymandias! shit I hate that poem :(

  5. LiLu says:

    “Twinsies” is one of my new favorite words as of late. Like when I found an identical post of another very happy girl who got a Snuggie recently. I’m a dork like that.

  6. jill says:

    Ah, the NKOTB shirts. Always a distraction aren’t they?

  1. December 29, 2009

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