Lorelei Gilmore – Gilmore Girls (Lauren Graham): I’m not sure what the manly version of a swoon is, but she makes me have them. Sure she talks a lot. So much so that I’d probably occasionally have to ask, “Can I interest you in six or seven packs of chewing gum?” But witty is one of my top three favorite kinds of banter. She’s smart and funny. She drives a jeep. And she seems very open-minded about dudes who eschew shaving and constantly rock baseball caps.
Andy McNally – Rookie Blue (Missy Peregrym): The other day I was walking through a room and Rookie Blue was on TV. Andy McNally was standing in a kitchen wearing… Well it was just delightful. Sadly Miss Peregrym and I have a real life friend in common, so she’s like… an actual person to me. Thanks for ruining my low-grade objectifying, real life friend!
Winnie Cooper – The Wonder Years (Danica McKellar): You know, assuming grown-up Winnie, or teen-aged me. The ultimate girl next door. And she always looked at least mildly displeased. I feel like dating me would be a very natural transition for her.
Donna Moss – The West Wing (Janel Moloney): “If you were in an accident, I wouldn’t stop for red lights.” Come on.
Amy Gardner – The West Wing (Mary Louise Parker): Very smart. Sexy. Maybe tooooo sexy. Every facial expression (and her voice) would always kind of seem like this woman was trying to seduce me. (Something I assume most of the time anyway.) She’d say, “Do the recycling.” I’d reply, “Oh. I’ll do the recycling.” It would go poorly.
Rachel Green – Friends (Jennifer Aniston): Pretty + a little spoiled = Kryptonite.
Pam Halpert – The Office (Jenna Fischer): She’s cute and nice. And she likes tall, sarcastic guys with questionable hair. I feel like I’d have a solid shot there.
Seven of Nine – Star Trek: Voyager (Jeri Ryan): Can you imagine if she had been on the (original) Enterprise? The things Kirk would have done to try to impress her and get in her spacepants. Drag-racing with Romulans. A pack of smokes shoved up the sleeve of his Starfleet uniform. A tattoo that says “Only Captains have a log.”
Janice – The Muppet Show: She looked worldly. Like she knew stuff. She went a little heavy on the eye make-up, for my liking, but cool guitar-playing chicks are all too rare.
Brooke Davis – One Tree Hill (Sophia Bush): Uhm. Is there any way I can come up with reasons here without admitting I’ve ever watched One Tree Hill?
Who are your TV crushes?