To find out what happens when people stop being polite and… Screw it. You know the rest.

… and then I said, “Listen just because you are paying for sex, it DOESN’T mean that you need to. Sometimes you just want to introduce a goat into the equation without all of the jibber jabber, you know?” So, she said —

Oh, hey. When did you guys get here?

This morning, as the sun snuck in on either side of my blind and flicked at the edges of my sleep, I immediately had the urge to write a blog post. Of course, I had no idea what I was going to write about.

Then I yawned, stretched, and opened gmail. After deleting the junk mail, there was still one sender that I didn’t recognize. At first I blamed my blurry morning eyes, but even when I got them to focus I still didn’t know the person.

So, I clicked on the mail and it was —

Hang on, let’s go back in time for a second.

I wrote a meandering post in December. (Only one?) It was about football. It was about poetry. It was about the revelation that is Coral Vision on MTV.

It changed some lives, I’m sure.

Well, the e-mail that arrived in my inbox overnight was from Coral.

Yes, THAT Coral.


For some reason I wasn’t completely shocked by this. (I once exchanged e-mails with Sir Ian McKellen.)

She had somehow become aware of the post and read it. And she liked it.

I won’t share the details of the e-mail. That is personal. Suffice it to say there was plenty of sexual tension, militant right-wing rhetoric, her views on my chances to nab Lori from “The Real World: Back to New York”, and her guess as to what the fuck the black smoke monster is on Lost.

She was very cool and funny and nice in it.

AND she just taped another Coral Vision dealie. It will air in July. You have to watch it. Brilliance. This time she is Coralizing “The Real World: Hollywood.”

I’ve only seen five minutes of that season of The Real World. Some dude was catching hell from his roommates for allegedly stealing the underwear of a female cast mate. My only reaction was “Please tell me they were clean.”

Then I flipped the channel to Deadliest Catch.

I’m a white dude in my thirties. I couldn’t resist that show if I tried.

So, there you go. Coral is very cool. And we have another Coral Vision Marathon coming soon.

Good stuff.

Now if Lauren Graham would finally just find my blog and e-mail me…

0 thoughts on “To find out what happens when people stop being polite and… Screw it. You know the rest.

  1. Sir Ian McKellan?? That’s AWESOME. I don’t even know what I’d say to him in an email…I’ve had a cool convo with author Christopher Moore though. Just as funny by email as in his books!

    (to be honest though, I have no idea who Coral is and I’m pretty much allergic to The Real World: Anywhere)

  2. Coral? That is so cool! I’ve emailed (and am facebooked friends with- he friended ME!) Brad Alan Lewis. That only seems cool if you know rowing.

    Now if only Daniel Tosh would find my IN LOVE posts and whisk me away for marriage.

  3. If you cross your fingers and your eyes and believe in it enough and wish really really hard… it probably still won’t happen.

    I mean, I still think Dave Matthews, Vince Vaughn, and Dane Cook will find my blog and fall in love with me, but Lauren Graham??

    She’ll probably find you on Facebook or the Space, though, and your romance will start there. Then you’ll NEVER be able to delete your profiles!

  4. That is seriously awesome! Coral gets the game that is the Real World. Seriously.

    Also, I had one of my favorite not-quite-big-time bands find my blog and comment, and subsequently email, and I felt very, very cool. Heck yes.

  5. I effing love Coral! She is such a bawdy bitch! She always makes me laugh when I need it most, because it usually means I am watching a crappy reality TV show.

  6. Dear Peter:
    I do believe the details of my restraining order against you specifically states that you may not blog about me. We’ve gone over this!
    Lauren Graham

  7. Isn’t it amazing when someone you totally idolize reads your blog and then writes to you? That’s how I felt when that pianist found me. Oh, and you. Of course.

  8. Okay, first of all Coral is precisely the kind of individual you want as a friend when you find yourself cornered by a gang of angry—albeit melodic—West Side Story teens: she’s loyal, brutally honest and rhythmically coordinated, wherein there’s a better than average chance that when the hairpins begin to fly—because let’s face it, there are always hairpins—Coral will walk away with a wad of an opponent’s over-processed hair hanging from her hand.

    And yes, she does have a unique way with words.

    And don’t feel bad about your devotions Peter, Lauren Graham (I am not here to judge you) and Olivia Newton-John (you are not here to judge me) probably use the same attorney to deal with those who have an obsessive need to interact, watch and/or runaway with them. Maybe they should inquire about a group rate?

    I’m pretty sure that ONJ still has a restraining order out against me—circa 1980—although completely unnecessary to have any longer; I mean, have you seen/heard her kid sing? Sweet Jesus.

    Surely that kid’s voice is responsible for all the earthquakes, floods, tornados and infernos the world has been recently weathering; literally earth-shattering and not in a good way.

    Anyway, ONJ started it! She sent me a correspondence when I was 11, although I never shared my true feelings with her, which was probably best for all involved given that I was slightly naïve in what it was I was promoting…

    You can read about those misplaced feelings on my blog:

    be well and great blog btw,

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