Times Square can't shine as bright as you…

Like most of you, I spend a good amount of time checking my visitor stats for my blog. Probably even more so on days when I don’t post anything. The reason being that I feel guilty about not posting.

I think things like, “Awww. Person from Bristol, Connecticut, you came all the way up here and I didn’t even post anything!”

It actually bothers me.

(Yes, it has already been clearly established that I am all sorts of nuts.)

And, while I have nothing to blog about today, I’ll hit you with a few quick thoughtlets. You know, just so your visit wasn’t a total waste.

*****

My e-mail addiction may be worse than I previously thought.

Item the first: When I got up at 4 o’clock this morning for a drink, I checked AND REPLIED TO e-mail. I shit you not.

Second… item: As I was slowly waking up this morning, my mind was wandering and, as I completed a thought, I mentally hit a “send” button to finish the process.

(The thought? “I think it would be fun to have a pen pal, if my handwriting wasn’t completely illegible.)

*****

Also this morning, I learned this on CNN Headline News:

“When cruising for men in a public washroom, it is important to keep your base wide. The person in the next stall should be able to see the edge of your foot. Then you slowly tap your foot to indicate interest.”

God help you if you are a fat dude listening to his iPod.

*****

Late last night, I decided that I would try to write my next post for Burt Reynolds’ Mustache — you should be reading DAILY — which is due to be posted on Saturday. Instead of something even bordering on funny, it turned into either a short poem or the beginning of a bigger one. In either case, moody 16 year old lesbians everywhere would be jealous of it.

Needless to say, it won’t be showing up on The ‘Stache.

*****

And, finally, a little exchange between The Monkey and I that might only be amusing to me:

Monkey: Peter, do you have “Hey There, Delilah?”
Peter: I have no idea. I have a lot of songs.
Monkey: You know it. Let me sing it for you.
Peter: It’s ok, I can do a sear–
Monkey sings the entire song.
Peter: Oh, I DO know that song.
Monkey: See?! I TOLD you. Can you put it on my CD, please?
Peter: Sure.
Monkey: And “Ridin’ Dirty!”

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15 Responses

  1. molly says:

    Umm…tapping. Yes.

  2. Mood Indigo says:

    your fat dude comment made me laugh out loud.

    So is this to say that Senator Craig peering for two minutes into a stall (in which mr. undercover cop was apparently doing his business) and shaking his hand around was simply the sign of an amateur?

  3. Sara says:

    You should get a pen pal. I had one in 5th grade and we wrote, well, it eventually turned to email, until about halfway through high school. She lived in a town about 20 minutes away and we started because our computer teacher at school worked for both schools. I got to meet her a lot because our teams played each other for basketball and volleyball. I think every person should have one at one point.

  4. Airam says:

    I’ll be your penpal!

  5. Airam says:

    Ridin dirty is a good song yo!

  6. Niki Nielsen says:

    When I throw things away in the trash can, sometimes I think to myself “delete”. Sad, huh.

  7. The Stormin Mormon says:

    Dude, I love the fact that I perpetrate your Email addiction.

  8. Eve says:

    ridin’ dirty, that’s hilarious!

  9. Lucy Dee says:

    Yeah, I’m a stats nut as well as an email slut. Oh, well. Who am I to deny my body technology and internet friends?

  10. STP says:

    I just taught my 5 year old cousin to say “I like it when you call me big papa” and “I ain’t a playa, I just crush a lot”. In time, I feel that he and The Monkey would be perfect for one another.

  11. sybil law says:

    My 5 year old also loves, “Ridin’ Dirty”. Scary, huh?!

  12. lfar says:

    I also have an email addiction. And an issue with blog stats.
    I love that Monkey sang THE WHOLE song! Haha!

  13. Em says:

    So I came by not from Bristol, CT, but from Pomfret, CT. I’m leaving a comment because, well, you mentioned it, so here ya go! I didn’t even realize one could check up on these things. Clearly, I am not as internet-savy as I would have thought. Dammit.

  14. heather says:

    just checking in from upstate new york. :-)

  15. That was win says:

    Oh dude, it was totally worth my visit from google (I ummed and aaahed over the url and thought, I wonder if this is just an SEOish page, let me take a look)

    > God help you if you are a fat dude listening to his iPod.

    The lulz do not fade over time.

    :-) Cheers for the laugh and slightly disturbing mental imagery.

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