Things I'm not going to blog about today…

1) The fact that Supernova is going to record and tour under the name “Rockstar: Supernova.” I… don’t even have the words.

2) I’m not even going to talk about how obvious it is that Lukas was far and away the most talented performer on the show. I’m not going to tell you to watch this and then try to argue.

2) Last night’s “Survivor” premiere. There was such a buzz about dividing the teams along racial lines. Which, obviously, is a publicity stunt by the show’s producers. However, I held out some hope that maybe it could lead to interesting debate. Maybe. For me personally, five minutes in I had forgotten about all of that and was basically thinking, “Hmmm… she’s cute. Oh, her too.”

Of course, that may say more about me than the show itself.

3) I’m also not going to blog about the football game I watched last night. I was going to do that thing that I do, you know, when I try to build something up with an intro? “Not since Columbus discovered the new world…” Then I try to make you think I am going one way with it and then go another? And then tell you that I watched a football game between Tennessee Tech and Middle Tennessee State. Which, to me, is pretty impressive to be able to do without visiting ol’ Rocky Top myself. I love my sattellite dish.

4) I am especially not going to write about this story. A little league baseball “coach” offered money to a player to bean an autistic teammate in order to keep him from playing in a playoff game. I have lost track of how many levels on which I’m enraged. The fact that Fucknuts McGee is displaying such hateful behaviour around eight year olds is criminal in and of itself.

That, as a society, we should be doing everything in our power to include kids with special needs in activities like this. And then this prick…

I’m pissed off that he is probably only going to get probation.

Mark R. Downs Jr. is lucky that I don’t live anywhere near Uniontown, Pa. Honestly, I’d make it my number one hobby to torture his ass. For real. Little things at first. Slashing car tires. Following him into fast food restaurants and knocking trays of food out of his hands.

Then I’d start following him around daily and whipping baseballs at him. I’m not kidding. He’d walk out of his house in the morning and I’d bean him between the eyes. He’d walk out of the drugstore, and I’d peg him in the jiggers with a nice fastball. (I’d also carry a baseball bat, just in case he’s a big dude that wouldn’t appreciate being tagged in the sprouts, for some reason.)

I think the key would be to get all my torturing in quickly, you know, before the cops get involved.

I’ve never been arrested for anything before. That one time we got caught on Hallowe’en chucking eggs and water balloons doesn’t count. Although it did lead to the older cheerleader I had a year-long crush on talking to me about it that Monday at school. I may have tried to really punch up the part where the cop told me to bust the water balloon on the ground, and I stomped on it and soaked his foot and sprayed his leg. He seemed displeased. Also, I ended up dating said cheerleader. And desipite the cool Patrick Dempsey 80’s era “shy guy gets cheerleader” movie possibilities, it was much better in theory than in reality.

So, since I have a clean record, I think that I should be able to commit one semi-serious crime and still only get probation. I’ve actually given this thought. I figure a beating that would break some bones, yet not hospitalize for too long would be the maximum I could get away with. I’ve been saving it for someone who might cross my family, but this sonofabitch would tempt me to use it.

But, I probably won’t.

However, if any of you live nearby Uniontown, Pa, or are willing to make the drive, I’ll supply the Rawlings.

I’m glad I wasn’t going to blog about that one, eh?

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6 Responses

  1. James Cooper says:

    Firstly, you seem to have two number 2’s.

    Secondly, it’s my understanding that Survivor tends to have a fair number of attractive young lasses who cavort frequently in skimpy bikinis.

    Thirdly, I’d gladly join you in torturing that scumbucket coach but I think we’ll have to leave it to the locals to deal with him. If he moves to either of our areas though we’ll have to be sure to commence Operation Knock Downs.

  2. Kukka-Maria says:

    I’m in West Michigan, but would be happy to help in any way. I may only be a feline, but I still have my claws and I can shoot a mean stream of urine as far as 17 yards (or 15.5448 meters, because aren’t Canadians metric?).

    I can not believe there are people in this world who are this vile! It reminds me of the story I saw last week about the California man who ran onto the field to slam a 13-year-old boy who had a late hit on the man’s son.

    If this is how they behave regarding youth sports, how do they react to real-life-adult stresses?

    Get a effing life, people! Or at least a conscience…

    On a side note: Patrick Dempsey in “Can’t Buy Me Love?” ::Sigh::

  3. Sara says:

    Lukas was just on Ellen. She also reported that the show is being sued for using the name because Supernova is already being used by someone else. So she came up with some new names:
    Rockstar: Super Salad
    Rockstar: Supernova Scotia
    Rockstar: Supernotallowedtobecallednova
    Rockstar: Super Duper

    I can’t remember the others…

  4. Erika says:

    I’m not going to comment about the fact that I will never buy a Supernova CD/concert ticket or even participate in one of their wet t-shirt contests. And it’s all because of Lucas. [Ever notice how Lucas sounds like licks-ass?]

    But I’m not going to comment about that because that would put me on your naughty list. And much like Santa’s naughty list, it’s not the place to be. Now if it was Patrick Dempsey’s naughty list, I could live with that ;)

  5. Darren says:

    You could could borrow one of those machines from a baseball team. Bean him with like 10 balls before he knew what the heck was going down…

  6. Peter says:

    James: Two #2s? I looked at it four times and didn’t even notice that. I’m going to elave it though, so your comment will always make sense.

    kukka-maria: I saw the video of that man in California. His jackassery is staggering.

    sara: I saw it. He called Ellen “babe.” That amused me.

    Erika: I only have two lists, really. “Naughty” and “Oh my…”

    Darren: I love ideas that are all vengeful-like AND lazy.

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