Thing That Should Exist: The Erin Condren Life Planner for Men
As part of my on-going plan to make every other dude in the world look bad, I got my girlfriend an Erin Condren life planner for her birthday.
Then we ordered one for my mom for her birthday. (Shhhhh. We didn’t give it to her yet.)
You know, these planners are pretty slick.
I like being organized.
And the reply.
I thought, “I’m going to call your bluff, lady.”
I sent her my ideas.
And now I’m going to share them with you.
“The Life Planner for Men.”
First of all, it would, of course, involve darker colors and “masculine” fonts.
Unless, of course, chartreuse is actually manly.
I have no idea what chartreuse is.
The Erin Condren Life Planner for Men would include:
LISTS (to be filled in):
– Fantasy Football Team. (Which I never play for money, because I feel like I’m one bet away from becoming Elisha Cuthbert in that movie where she plays a teenage gambling addict that always takes a break from studying points spreads to make sure her hair looks perfect.)
– Fantasy Baseball Team
– Important Dates At A Glance
– Important Dates… TO HER At A Glance
– Vehicle Maintenance
– 5 Year Plan
– 10 Year Plan
– “Genius Ideas” (I’d need ten pages for this. Mmmhmm.)
Various quotes by athletes, coaches, rock stars, etc.
“Dictionary is the only place that success comes before work. Hard
work is the price we must pay for success. I think you can accomplish
anything if you’re willing to pay the price.”
– Vince Lombardi
“Build up your weaknesses until they become your strong points.”
– Knute Rockne
“I can accept failure, everyone fails at something. But I can’t accept
– Michael Jordan
“You miss 100% of the shots you don’t take.”
– Wayne Gretzky
“Treat everyone you meet as a gentleman. Not because they are, but because you are.”
– Ed Sabol
“I eat like a man.”
– Minka Kelly
Important baseball dates – pitchers and catchers report to spring
training, all-star break, world series begins, etc
Important football dates – the draft, season opens, super bowl, etc.
Important dates in the history of man.- when Sports Illustrated first started publishing their swimsuit issue, when fantasy sports began, when the magic that is satellite TV was invented, the first time cheese was added to a pizza crust.
– Cooking times for grilled meat
– Erin Condren gift ideas for her. (Complete with website listed in
large font, of course.)
– Vehicle maintenance tips
– Home maintenance tips
– “How to survive zombie apocalypse” (Let’s face it, when the zombies inevitably rise up, you don’t want people just winging it. )
– football/baseball stickers to mark game days of favourite teams
– beer bottles
– BIG birthday cake for his significant other (I assume women would
buy these planners for their guys and fill in some of the important
– Anniversary (bright colours so it shows up.)
– Valentine’s day
– musical notes (for concerts)
– regular birthday cakes
– a girl sticker (for important dates for his lady)
– Ryan Gosling (Not really.)
A few varieties. Including:
– all black
– medium close-up of football field, complete with chalk line
– close-up of football, showing a bit of writing/lines
– close-up of basketball, showing a bit of writing/lines
– a picture of a toilet seat in the down position
To include with planner package.
– Invitation to fantasy sports league.
– IOUs (backrubs, dishes, watching *shudder* Newsies)
– “I’m sorry for __________” (mistaking your sister’s butt for your butt in a picture… and then complimenting it, forgetting something important even though I had it written in my Erin Condren Life Planner for Men.)
Or some kind of holder for business cards, memory stick/jump drive, Rogaine prescription.