the view is nice from up there, future wife

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  1. I have one beef with being put on a pedestal, although you don’t seem to cover it, but I had an (x)boyfriend who constantly talked about how all women should be on pedestals and blah blah blah. And he was very complimentary, probably to a fault. But he also refused to see me as a whole human, one who makes mistakes and has baggage and sometimes needs to get her hands dirty. He didn’t want to see any of that, he wouldn’t allow me to apologize for mistakes, or be hurt or have issues with some of my baggage. He’d just say “it’s okay, I’m here now.” Which….sounds lovely, but doesn’t actually solve the problem. I just wanted him to see me as myself, the good parts and the bad parts, and then choose to love me anyway. I felt that, while on that damn pedestal, he only saw the good and hyped it up to more than I could ever live up to, and he refused to see anything else. And ultimately I don’t want to be with someone like that.

    Now, of course I am not say you fit into that same category, but as you hoist your love onto a pedestal, make sure you realize that she still needs to be whole, with flaws and faults and the works. And it’s okay to acknowledge that, and then choose to love and adore her anyway.


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