the question

“Why am I single?  Aren’t we all just looking for someone attractive and smart and sweet and funny and trustworthy who fits us?  Well…  No.  Not really.  I’m also looking for…   someone who just gets me, as improbable as that is.  I’m looking for someone who lets me know that the sparks and flashes of brilliance aren’t just going to fade until they become nothing but spots in front of our eyes. Someone who makes me feel like I feel when I hear Karen O’s voice.  Someone who makes me a little dizzy.  Someone whose feelings affect my own so much that it shocks me.  Every fucking time. Someone who will make me write and create magic and art and perfection for her.  I’m looking for someone who gets it without being told.  Someone who tells you without being asked.  And someone who asks when she needs to. You know, it doesn’t surprise me that I am single.  It surprises me that more people aren’t.”

“Sir, I was just asking if you’d be requiring only a table for one this evening.”

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27 Responses

  1. oh peter you got me at the end.

    and actually i’m surprised that more people aren’t single too.

  2. Jenn says:

    I wish I had said this in Vegas.

  3. Lemmonex says:

    We know why people are in relationships: fear. They want to believe that person is taking their breath away when really the breath is being choked out. It is human, this need to connect and desire to pair off, but I think a lot of relationships are lacking actual humanity and feeling. Relationships for many just fill a void but don’t insert anything of worth.

  4. doniree says:

    Karen O’s voice makes me want to do dirty, dirty things.

  5. “I’m looking for someone who lets me know that the sparks and flashes of brilliance aren’t just going to fade until they become nothing but spots in front of our eyes.”

    I love this, Peter.

  6. Shelley says:

    Why aren’t you writing screenplays?

  7. Michael says:

    That’s sixteen paragraphs of awesome in just one paragraph.

    Seriously, though-remember your Vonnegut. If you haven’t read any, I’ll wait.

    Humans are built to live in hunter gatherer societies, with mobs of people around who care about them. We are too needy to have all that-lust and love and friendly concern and stern warnings and babies to coo at and old people to listen to and people to watch TV with and people to talk about books with and people to make you soup when youre sick even if you dont want soup and people who will let you slam the door and scream expletives and still set a place for you at supper-wrapped up into one person. It’s too much.

    You can find most of it,though with a little cement of patience to smooth over the less than elegant parts. As the wise Howard Stern once put it, we are all difficult to live with.

    To sum up, in the words of Robert Heinlein, love is when the happiness of another person is indispensible to one’s own.

  8. Sid says:

    LOL! I totally snorted when I read this. I like to pretend it was an attractive sounding snort …

    Kate O? Canadian singer?

  9. Jen says:

    Wow, that was awesome. I’ve had trouble articulating my reasons for being single, but from now on, I may just quote you …

  10. Janet says:

    Love that line about being surprised more people aren’t single. I completely agree!

  11. I’ve always loved the quote (and I’m paraphrasing here), “Don’t be with someone you can live with. Be with someone you can’t live without.” Damn. Gets me every time.

  12. tia says:

    oh, petey.

    EVERY girl wants a boy to write and create magic and art and perfection for her.

    it’s like our lifelong dream.

  13. Toe says:

    When you find the ying to your yang I’m sure she will be all these things and more. I <3 this.

  14. Kendall says:

    I (for some strange reason) am kind of ashamed to admit this but I actually had to ask who Karen O was. My coworker told me what band she was part. At my blank look, he let me hear a bit. I then understood.

  15. Beth says:

    I don’t have much to say in response except:

    Amen.

  16. Kara says:

    That’s about right. Instead of dizzy I would say – someone who gives me butterflys.

  17. ReinventingAmy says:

    great post. I totally feel the same and feel I’m single because I refuse to settle.

    Love the last line though from the waiter. :)

  18. Love it. Here’s to those of us not willing to settle!

    -Formica D

  19. Those brilliant sparks will not fade with you. You’re far too bright and funny. And this made me laugh so, so much.

  20. And this is exactly why I’m single.

  21. M says:

    Well said. :)

  22. stefanie says:

    That last line is dead on. Well said.

  23. Colleen says:

    Can I memorize this for holidays at my family’s house?

  24. Andrea says:

    This is excellent.

  25. shahu says:

    Sigh.
    Wish there were more guys like you.
    You sir, is one of a kind.

    Love the ending.

  1. October 28, 2009

    […] feel like I answered this a couple days […]

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