That Ya-Ya Sisterhood Starts Early, Eh?

The ACN arrived in town a little while ago.

Her first act was to tell me that she didn’t want to be here, demand that I put her back in the car, and then giggle her little bum off.

Moments later, while I was stealing kisses from the little goofball, her Mommy was yammering on about something or other. Eventually I recognized a word that sounded familiar and said, “Wait… when is Mom & Dad’s anniversary?”

“Today.”

In my defense, I am BRUTAL with anniversaries. But, I am pretty good with birthdays! It’s true. Last month I sent a Facebook message to my 11th grade girlfriend because I remembered her birthday. (And NO she didn’t have it listed in Facebook, so I didn’t see it on my main page.)

That’s pretty good, right? Right? Fine. I suck.

My sister quickly realized that if one male in the family forgot, it was possible that two had. So, she called my Dad’s cell. He was out sailing.

I could only hear her side, but what started out as, “Do you know what day it is today?” quickly turned into “You’re as useless as Peter!”

To which I replied, “Hey! *I* wasn’t at the wedding.”

And then I did a little quick math to confirm.

My sister volunteered me and the ACN to make a card for him. Then she called him a bad husband and got off the phone.

So, twerpypants and I got some construction paper and her pack of “Pip Squeak” markers. We were ready. The plan was to make two cards. One to my folks from all of us. And the other to my mom from my dad.

We started the first. ACN and I wrote it out. When we got to the “from” part, I asked, “Are we going to write everyone’s names out?” She shook her head. I asked, “Just write “All of us?” Nope. “Is it just from you?” “YEAH!!!”

So, we wrote her name on it and then drew a little present and coloured it in.

It was time for the second card. I put the piece of paper in front of her and she immediately began shaking her head, “No.” And vigorously.

Uncle Pete: We have to make a card from grandpa. He forgot.

ACN shakes her head.

Uncle Pete: He’s going to get in trouble.

ACN: Yeah.

Uncle Pete: We should make him a card, punkin.

ACN shakes her head.

Uncle Pete: Do you want Grandpa to get in trouble?

ACN: Yeaaaaaah!

Uncle Pete: You don’t want to help him?

ACN shakes her head.

Uncle Pete: Because he’s a bad boy and should have gotten a card?

ACN: YEAH!!!

I even tried a different angle a little while later.

Uncle Pete: Can Unc make the card?

ACN shakes her head.

Uncle Pete: If I make the card, are you going to get mad at me?

ACN: (Serious face.) Yeah.

Uncle Pete: Are you going to throw a (switches to French accent) fit de hissy?

The ACN CRACKED up.

She loves this phrase for some reason. She actually seems to enjoy it anytime I switch randomly into French. (Or fake French, apparently.)

I didn’t push the card issue, because we had already had a bit of a rhubarb earlier on. I checked my e-mail and got yelled at. Then she gave me the, “Dude, you best not let your gmail OCD interfere with me being lavished with attention!” look.

I better end this post here. I am supposed to be earning “Kinz Cash” for her on webkinz.com right now. I don’t have to tell you how much trouble I’ll be in if she wakes up tomorrow morning and there isn’t enough cash in there. Eeeeep.

Oh, and there still hasn’t been any card made for Grandpa.

You may also like...

No Responses

  1. Airam says:

    You having to make a card to your mom from your dad is classic!

    This reminds me of a Christmas a long time ago where my brother realized on Christmas Eve that he forgot to get his girlfriend of probably 5 years a card (she’s now his wife). So he asked my other brother (the younger of the three .. you following?) to go to the store quickly to get a card for her. Well he got a card that was pretty impersonal because there wasn’t anything nice left out there! It was a “thinking of you in passing” kind of card. We still make fun of him to this day.

  2. sybil law says:

    Oh no – not kinz cash!!! You poor man… I know that hell all too well!
    But you are awesome, really – and very sweet. I’m sure you hate hearing that, like most guys, but in this case, it’s definitely true!

  3. lfar says:

    I love ACN posts! She’s hilarious!

    My brother plays webkinz. He sometimes makes me try to earn him kinz cash but gets too frustrated with my inefficiency- I play at the easy level that earns less points per minute, or whatever. So then I play the trivia games where I say I’m 8 and know all the answers. It really impresses him- try it!

  4. Clink says:

    What are webkinz? What is kinz cash? (Please do not tell the ACN that I am unfamiliar with the kinz, as I fear her wrath.)

  5. Hellafied says:

    This was like the cutest thing I’ve heard, ever. Guys and their nieces are just irresistible.

  6. Peter says:

    airam: Oh my… Tell me he did remember presents though.

    sybil: Thanks! I’ve been called much worse things than “sweet.” Today.

    lisa: She is a funny little twerp. And good tip with the trivia. Thanks!

    clink: Good thinking, you do NOT want to be on her bad side. Webkinz are little stuffed animals that come with codes which allow you to log into a website where virtual versions of the animals live. It is a pretty extensive little world. Kids love the crap out of it.

    hellafied. HMMmmm. Good to know. Though I should really be trying to impress you quickly as the ACN decided a half hour ago that she was sending me back to the “Unc store” for a replacement.

Leave a Reply

Your email address will not be published. Required fields are marked *