Tell me why…

I don’t like Mondays.

Except that I do.


Mondays, to me, are a day for fresh starts.

On Monday… I’ll start eating more vegetables.
On Monday… I’ll start getting more exercise.
On Monday… I’ll stop messing with the high-priced hookers.

But, I don’t feel that way today.

Today I’d much rather be curled up in my big comfy chair, in front of my TV, watching last night’s episode of “The Wire” that I have pvr’d.

My fingers don’t even want to co-operate with typing this post.

It’s my birthday on Saturday. The 18th. (You all have five shopping days left.)

Typically my birthdays put me in a weird, introspective headspace.

Seems like it’ll be the same this year.

I had a dream the other night that I was living in a WalMart with my friends Coo Funk (from “The apartment” quadrology.) and The Goat (the friend we went to visit in the volleyball player/werewolf thing.) I met Natalia Cigliuti and we started dating. Yes, also in WalMart.

My point? She’s realllly cute.

Actually that’s not my point.

Both Coo Funk and The Goat are married – as are an increasing number of my friends. And that is very cool. Especially since none of us are getting any younger or prettier.

I suspect that if you had asked someone when we were teenagers, which of “the boys” would be amongst the first to get married, I probably would have gotten a lot of votes.

Maybe I didn’t have a point afterall.

I feel like I need one of those Monday fresh starts, but on a bigger scale.

Like I want to go someplace. Maybe Ireland. Maybe Australia. Grow a beard. Work in bars and restaurants for a couple months. Spend my time roaming and writing in some beat-up old notebook. Maybe work as a deckhand on some schooner. I know how to sail.

Maybe grow my hair. Maybe buzz it off. Maybe one then the other.

Definitely a beard though.

Maybe I need a new relationship.

Maybe my own idealism would just wreck it.

Maybe not though.

Maybe I need new t-shirts. 100% cotton. Size XL (or XL tall if they have them.)

I used to get bogged down on what ifs, how comes and thoughts on how I could have changed things in the past. I don’t find myself doing that anymore. I spend my time thinking about the present and the future much more. That is a good thing.

I still have no idea what the fuck I am going to do. But, I feel better equipped to figure it out.

And I have a hole in my sock.

0 thoughts on “Tell me why…

  1. I always thought the unnamed sorority girl in Joe Dirt was cute….but now she’s named. Sweet!

    You should travel to Scotland….grow your hair and a beard…dye them red. And call yourself Hamish.

  2. I have that same love/hate relationship with Mondays. Hope you relaxed with “The Wire” and found it somewhat ironic that they, too, are looking forward in that fictitious Baltimore.

    Get some new socks, eh?

  3. Every so often I hit those “what if” funks and I’ve found the best cure to be to just do at least one of those things. You’re already stressing about the perceived problem so why not just go and do it, right?

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