Steal this post

Since plagiarism in the ‘sphere (douche alert!) is spreading faster than Madonna’s legs (early 90s pop culture reference alert!) I thought that I would do my part to help…

The plagiarizers.

What?

It can’t be easy to be a plagiarizer.   You have to be lacking in anything resembling a unique thought in your head, and have to be so bereft of common sense that you do something with absolutely no benefit that you are certain to be caught doing.

*golf clap*

So, my plagiariffic little friends, I’ve created a blog post that you can easily steal and customize to suit your own inexplicable needs.

You’re welcome.

—–

The sun/moon looked more beautiful than ever, as I slowly walked down the street/beach/outer ring of the International Space Station.

It made me feel proud to be an American/Martha Stewart’s dog/a Hasidic Jew.

It had been months since I’d been dumped by D/T/Q/R/$/Whitney Port.  I was doing better.  I was!  Even as my lips said those words, my heart/soul/left nipple knew better.  (My right nipple was still in the dark.)

A breeze blew up and I fixed my blonde flowing locks/red curls/fez.  He/she used to do that for me.  But that was a long time ago.

“Romeo and Juliet” by Dire Straits/The Killers played loudly/softly/kind of, you know, in between on my ipod/walkman/the voices in my head.

I missed his/her touch/caress/massive erection.

I kept walking.

I kept missing.

I knew that I would never act on it/an episode of “The Big Bang theory.”

And that was OK.

I headed home with an overwhelming feeling that I would meet someone else/realization that I had done the right thing/the trots.

0 thoughts on “Steal this post

  1. I didn’t even read past the first few sentences because I was reminded of a time (20 + years ago) when Pinknest used to say “The word of the day is legs…spread the word.” It was very 90s as well and something I thought I’d share with you.

  2. I didn’t have any material for this week… I guess I can post one this week. :) Thanks Peter!

    P.S. Poor @brandyismagic…. she doesn’t really love you!

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