state of the blog union address #94875

1) Yes I know I am supposed to be writing word doodles to go along with submitted photos, as explained here. But things came up and…  I just didn’t wanna.  And since I’m the boss, it is being delayed.  I’ve received some interesting photos, but the deadline for submitting them has been extended too.  Sooooo submit!

2) I am working on a super secret blog project with my cartoonist buddy. I’m kind of in serious like with this project so far, and hope that you’re going to like it too.  It MAY involve some of your (well, mine anyway) favourite bloggers in guest appearances.

3) I am beginning the process of planning to move my blog to a hosted situation.  This will, of course, require a re-design.  Just ’cause.  Since change breaks my mind, it is going to take me awhile to come around on this.

There are decisions to be made.

Do I go with some talented professionals?

Do I half-ass it and tweak an existing wordpress template?  (Or better yet, charm a friend into doing it for me?)

Who am I going to ask (more charm?) to “help” with coming up with a header?

How much charm can I manage to come up with, really?

I have a buddy that does hosting, so that’s covered at least.  Step one.

Really I don’t want to invest too much cash in a blog revamp when I am perpetually one crankypants mood away from, “Fuck this.  Blogging sucks.”

Also, I am horrible to work with.

Seriously.

I know what I want, but can never, ever find a way to articulate it to a designer.

Never.

Ever.

For the last blog I had designed, I asked for “professional, but warm, and clean, but relaxed… and hula girls!”

Seriously?

You want to know what I want?

I want my blog to look like it thinks it’s better than you, but would never say it.  Like it cleans up well, but still seems rugged.  Like it would be even nicer to puppies if no one was watching.  I want my blog to look like it will go home with you at closing time AND it will call you the next day.  But only to tell you it stole something from your bedroom, and that you can’t see him again until you guess what it is.  And you’ll search and find nothing.  Then you’ll call him, all frustrated, and ask, “What was it?  What did you steal?”  “Your heart.” And you’ll rage.  And he’ll laugh. And you’ll make a date to eat some waffles.

Oh, and I want my blog to be mostly black and white!

So, yeah, can you picture the design now?

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29 Responses

  1. b says:

    Could my blog date your blog? He sounds fun :)

  2. Lindsay says:

    Yes. I would totally fall for a line like that.

    Also, semi-related, if you were a children’s book I think you would be If You Give A Mouse A Cookie.

    Yeah. That would be you.

  3. Wendryn says:

    Mmmm. Waffles.

    I have no idea what you want your blog to look like, but if you can get it to look the way you want, I’ll be fascinated to see what comes out of this.

  4. DCPTexas says:

    When I read your notes about how you want the blog to look, I think of an intimate 50’s Tiki Lounge… in Cuba… at late sunset… dimly lit by gas lanterns. Boats and surf can be seen in the background through the open door. Very, very Hemingway… with thatch, photos of trophy fish, worn hardwoods and herringbone rattan everywhere.

    And “The Most Interesting Man in the World” is serving Mojitos that were mixed by this “Hula Girl”
    (http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=AS0VppEITiU). And the few people who are lucky enough to be there are wearing a sunburn warmed, two drink grin on their faces. And they are clad in well worn but only slightly wrinkled linnen. And occasionally the sweet smell of pipe smoke and salt air waft past your nose, not in an offensive way, but rather in an awesome way that makes you think to yourself that you are absolutely in the only place you belong. Oh… there might be a roulette wheel, dart board, and… a maybe parrot. OK, definitely a parrot, but not a robot. No robots allowed here (except “hula girl”)cause it’s the black and white 50’s dontcha know.

    Which reminds me about the date for waffles thing. Is that because you don’t have the robot to make pancakes yet? I appreciate waffles as much as the next person but, if that’s why you offered them instead of pancakes, I think you’re being a little lazy Peter. I mean, really, in your world you use a battery powered hula girl to mix your drinks.

    Just sayin’.

    Grins

  5. Ben says:

    Shatterboxx girls wanted to punch me in the face after our creative briefing. Apparently modern but classic while also simple and whimsical doesn’t make any sense.

    • Peter DeWolf says:

      See, that would be the case with me too.

      “I want it a little bit like what Anne Hathaway sees when she blinks… What? Why are you looking at me like that?”

      Then I’d go all Canadian on them and apologize profusely.

      Plus I’m too pretty to punch.*

      (*Not even a little true.)

    • nicoleantoinette says:

      UNTRUE! We wanted to drink wine with you and roll around lovingly.

  6. Michael says:

    Crankypants is a good word.

    I’m in the middle of a crankypants snit right now, too. Not so much a design issue for me as a “what the hell am I doing this for again” issue.

  7. heather says:

    I vote for Shatterboxx so that I can feed my own personal belief that there is something going on between you and the lovely Nicole…

  8. Amanda says:

    I think I just fell in love with a hypothetical blog.

    This is not good.

  9. Krystal says:

    hmm, maybe try designing your own first and see what happens. then when you design one that you love you’ll never want to stop looking at it and you’ll feel all accomplished and stuff

    • Peter DeWolf says:

      I like this idea. In theory.

      But democracy works… in theory.

      I am currently looking at 9 million blogs and picking out things I like about each. And it somehow feels like I am working. I like that.

  10. Jenn says:

    I retract my offer to design your blog for you until you stop being so fucking high maintenance.

    AKA never.

  11. Jenn says:

    I feel like a need to add a “CANADIANS.” on to my comment.

  12. Kaci says:

    Can’t wait to see it!

  13. Were you describing how you want your new blog to look like or yourself?

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