INT. TYPICAL OFFICE BREAK ROOM – LUNCH
Jim and Steve compare their lunches.
Jim: Nice. My wife bought the good cheese.
Steve: Your wife is kind of a dirty whore, huh?
POW. Jim punches Steve in the face.
INT. HR DIRECTOR’S OFFICE – 15 MINUTES LATER
Steve holds an ice pack to his eye. Ralph, the new HR director, reads a file.
Ralph: This is not your first work altercation is it, Steve?
Steve: Today or in general?
Ralph: In General.
Ralph: You got into a fight with a girl guide troop last June?
Steve: I’m not sure what happened there…
Ralph: It says here that you and “Missy” had to be physically seperated.
Steve: I thought price negotiating was a part of business. She called me a “doodie head.” It escalated from there.
Ralph: And do you see how that was wrong?
Steve: I see how she should not be in the food service industry.
Ralph: You are a grown man.
Ralph: She was nine.
Steve: Seriously? I think she might be on steroids. She looked like a middle linebacker.
Ralph: See, this is the kind of thing that you should keep to yourself.
Steve: Ahh. But, I’m just being honest.
Ralph: There is such a thing as “too honest.”
Steve: I see.
Ralph: And the thing with Mr. Nguyen’s daughter…
Steve: Pointing out erect nipples…
Ralph: Is bad.
Steve: On eighteen year olds?
Ralph: On anyone.
Ralph flips through more pages in the file.
Ralph: Now… Leslie.
Ralph: Do you know what you did wrong in that case?
Steve: I told Leslie that drinking beer was bad during pregnancy.
Steve: It was actually a can of soda.
Steve: Leslie wasn’t pregnant.
Steve: Leslie is a man.
Steve: I think I see where you are going with all of this.
Ralph: You do?
Steve: I should not have told Jim that his wife was a dirty whore.
Ralph: That’s right. Exactly! I can’t believe this hasn’t come up before.
Steve: This is my fourteenth job in the last two years.
Steve: Some people are just touchy.
Ralph: How so?
Steve: I mean your wife is a much dirtier whore than Jim’s and you are okay with it.
POW. Ralph punches Steve in the face.