Puppies from the same litter can have different fathers…

I haven’t been feeling very funny lately.

Some of you may be asking, “Were you ever funny? Really?”

To you, I would say, “Awww. Mean.” And I’d make this face :(

Actually, that’s not true at all. I’d probably just say, “Fuuuuuck yoooooou” and write you off FOREVER.

I’ve never really subscribed to that whole theory that criticism can be constructive.

I think part of my problem is that I need a straight man. You know, someone says something. I make a snarky comment. People laugh. Everyone wins!

And by “everyone,” I mean me.

And by “wins,” I mean has a dismayingly temporary boost in self-esteem.

This is not some obvious plea to get you to say, “Oh Peter, you are funny!” and then send me seductive photos of yourself posing with your Blackberry (or similar device.)

Although…

While I am not feeling very funny, I am still feeling incredibly adorable. So, you know, all is not lost.

Tell me, what are YOU feeling (or not feeling) today?

FYI: If your reply is more than two sentences long, making it have something to do with me will ensure that I actually read it.

Kidding! I’m kidding.

*cough*

*looks around nervously*

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No Responses

  1. lfar says:

    ensure not insure, you goof.

    I am feeling popular today. I mean, I’d go into further explanation but I have to limit myself to two sentences, and this one counts.

  2. jiminycricket says:

    I would like to send you a photo of me posing with my Or Other Device but I have misplaced my camera. Unfortunately, I’m at work and feeling highly disenfranchised which is numbing my brain and making everything impossibly difficult.

  3. Peter says:

    lfar: CRAP!!! Hmmm. If I change it quickly enough, people will think that you misread it…

  4. poodlegoose says:

    I’m feeling like I should have seen a picture of some puppies on this post or something. That’s what I’m feeling, and I’m a little disappointed, to tell you the truth.

  5. Girl With Curious Hair says:

    I too, feel relatively popular. My co-worker made me look brilliant yesterday by being an unrelenting idiot in front of our manager; and you’re asking me how I feel–how else is a girl to feel?

    BTW, I do not believe in constructive criticism either. It is just a lame attempt at making insults hurled at you seem like they’re good for you.

  6. lspoon says:

    I’m still stuck on the title. Probably b/c I was listening to the Hercules soundtrack (yes the Disney movie. No I’m not actually 8) this morning and your post title reminded me of the fact that Hercules was a twin and Hercules dad was Zeus and his brother was his earth father’s real son. Those crazy Greeks/Romans.

  7. Clink says:

    Dude, don’t go showing those BlackBerry pictures to everyone, okay?

    Also, I am feeling hungry. For a bagel. Ask Molly for further explanation.

  8. mindy says:

    I am feeling like once again I’ve gotten myself in over my head. Super fun!

  9. Hollywood Sucker says:

    I’m feeling those 3 glasses of red wine I drank last night.

  10. JP says:

    I feel trampy.. (that is NOT a word)..

    Should wear more turtleneck sweaters.

  11. Peter says:

    jiminy: Tease.

    poodlegoose: I appreciate your honesty. But, puppies would have stolen the spotlight from me.

    girl with curious hair: Did you do anything to help your coworker look like a moron?

    lspoon: I have no idea why I picked that title. I may be loony. Don’t tell anyone.

    clink: Don’t worry. I am not a good sharer.

    mindy: Have you considered learning lessons? I’m just sayin’…

    hollywood sucker: I am typing this reply quietly for you.

    jp: Turtleneck sweaters are ALWAYS a good idea. “Trampy” is really just… misunderstood.

  12. JenBun says:

    You couldn’t stop being incredibly adorable if you tried! Also? still funny.

    I am feeling flirty today! (and the coffee is only ramping it up more)

  13. Susie says:

    I am feeling enlightened because I never really knew that about puppies from the same litter having different fathers (does that make me dumb??). So, therefore, you helped make me a little bit smarter today, Peter.

  14. Essentially Me says:

    I’m feeling like you’ve got your tongue in your cheek?

  15. Peter says:

    jenbun: My adorableness thanks you for your support.

    susie: That doesn’t make you dumb at all. It just means that you likely have more important things on your mind than the silliness that frequently bounces around in my head.

    essentially me: Possibly. You never know where that thing is going to end up.

  16. Anonymous says:

    I thought I saw you on the bus this morning. WHich of course was completely impossible since I have never met you, and live many thousands of kms from you.

    But as this bizarro-Peter looked back at me (ok… maybe I’d been staring) I got the giggles thinking about ‘what if it WAS you?’ and how I could embarrass myself completely by confronting you/this other tall man. Then he thought I was laughing at him and I had to look away.
    So in conclusion: you completely ruined my random-morning-eye-sex. damn you.

    I don’t know how that’s going to make you feel better but: do.

    – madeleine

  17. Hellafied says:

    Hopelessly ineffectual today, Peter.

    That sums it right up.

  18. J-Money says:

    I feel unnerved that Oprah just referred to Steve Guttenberg as a “movie star”. I also feel like I’m post-menopausal, probably from watching Oprah.

  19. The Maiden Metallurgist says:

    I’m feeling some tacos. I’m going to go home and make that happen.

  20. canadian sadie says:

    I’m feeling cranky, sad, and disappointed. Pretty much the usual, these days.

    I am, however, more lighthearted now that I’ve read a post about your incredible adorableness. Except that I’ve seen the Facebook photos. But I’ll keep your secret.

  21. tNb says:

    I’m feeling neither popular nor trampy, but you did make me laugh adorably. Bravo!

  22. crackfire says:

    Miffed

    PS:Dont count this as a sentence but I am the only guy around, I mean besides you :P

  23. ~**Dawn**~ says:

    Incredibly subpar. Amazing what a friend can do to your self-esteem with one lousy comment.

  24. A Lil' Irish Lass says:

    I am feeling flattered that you liked the NYC bits of my second to last post. You’re one of my favorite bloggers, so kudos from you is high praise indeed!

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