pop quiz, hotshot

So I was sprawled out on my bed last Sunday morning, doing lots of work and being super productive.

Or, you know, watching the end of Speed.

The Monkey strutted in the back door (I had the volume up and didn’t hear her), walked to my bedroom,  and jumped on my bed.  She was eating potato chips and dropping crumbs all over the place.

She grabbed my phone and started going through my contacts and asking
“Who is this?” about everyone.  Including herself.

She was displeased with the combination of one person’s last name with her first name.

She pronounced things in an exaggerated French accent.

She told me that one person’s name made her sound like a detective.

Monkey: Is she a detective, Peter?

Peter: I don’t think so.

Monkey: Hmm.  She should be.

Peter: I’ll let her know.

Monkey: Do that.

She wanted to call one person, but I explained the concept of time zones.  She was unmoved.

This happened:

Monkey: Who is “Dad?”

Peter: My dad.

Monkey: Oh.

She texted a couple of my friends before I started to worry that she might cause some damage and wrestled the phone away from her.

At one point I said, “Uhm… is that a bug in your hair?”  Her eyes almost popped out.  So I took whatever it was out of her hair.  I looked closer at it.

“Goof… you had potato chip in your hair.”

She said, “Oh.”

I asked, “How?”

“Welllllll, Peter, I was waiting for a chance to cross the road and I
was throwing chips in the air.  One must have went *weird sound* and
landed in my hair.  And the cars kept coming and no one would stop for
me.”

“People don’t typically stop here to let you cross.  There isn’t that
much traffic.”

“Well I’m so beautiful I thought they’d stop to take a look.”

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13 Responses

  1. Doniree says:

    “DOH-nuh-reeee” – I so want to hear that in a French accent.

    And it sounds as though she’s inherited her uncle’s sense of humility.

  2. You are so fortunate to have the Monkey in your life, as I’m sure she’ll tell you. Come to think of it, we’re pretty lucky she’s in your life, too.

  3. Sid says:

    Well I’ve learnt that exposing a bit of leg works way better than throwing chips in the air when you want to stopping traffic.

  4. I assume this is when she stole your phone and texted me?! Haha I love it :)

  5. I believe I have heard this story before.

    (As have some of the other ladies above, haha.)

  6. Michael says:

    This is gorgeous. Just like her, I’m sure.

    I had to go through my address book and add my company name next to women’s names so as not to get a “Who’s THAT?” from my wife.

  7. Amanda says:

    I miss being young :(

    I also miss potato chips. NOM NOM NOM

  8. shahu says:

    Monkey: Who is “Dad?”

    Peter: My dad.

    Monkey: Oh.

    hahahahaha. I Love the Monkey.

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