Peter & Eleni’s Infinite Conversation… on Double Standards Part 2

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10 Responses

  1. Pops says:

    Here’s my theory of “attraction”. The more emotional you are, the more you will be attractive to people who need emotion in their lives. The more intellectual you are, the more you will be attractive to people who need intellect in their lives. And, if and when you find a nice balance between emotion and intellect, you will be attractive to people who have a nice balance of emotion and intellect. More often than not, people seek relationship with people who balance out their own personality. It is not that opposite attract so much as people use relationship to establish balance in their lives instead of finding that balance within themselves.

    As to the double standard, it remains the case that men are presumed to be more intellectual (in their head as opposed to their emotions), so when they show feelings, they are assumed to be in balance. But, more to the point, relationship for women is an emotional event so they are attracted to the emotion. Emotion is for relationship. On the other hand, women are presumed to be emotional and when they are not, and are in their heads, men do not see them as balanced but rather as uninterested in a relationship (because emotions are for relationships). Intellect is for competing ideas. When men are in their heads, they are in a competitive mode. So when a woman is in her head, she is not viewed as balanced by the male but as a competitor. Not really fair but it is what it is. Only when people can stop making assumptions about each other based on gender and understand that a full relationship has both emotional and intellectual components can the double standard be eliminated.

  2. Melissa says:

    The two of you really should write a book! Also, I’m loving the metaphors between the two of you, seriously. Why is it that metaphors always seem to sum out conversations the best?

    I also seem to have a list of codes in my brain that people seem to break without actually knowing they’re part of the system… But seriously, isn’t this system just common sense like you said? I think it’s pretty dumb of people to be commenting negative things about your blog with your girlfriend when the title of it is pretty common sense. Then again, people will always have ridiculous things to say at the wrong moments. Such is life.

    Thanks for sharing all these letters with Eleni! The two of you really are rather insightful :)

    • Eleni Zoe says:

      *Bows gracefully*

      But I would also like to add, because I didn’t address it in the letter. This ‘common-sense’ thing you guys are talking about. It doesn’t exist. You know that right? My ‘common-sense’ and your ‘common-sense’ might have nothing in common. :)

  3. Lindsay says:

    I’m loving this back and forth.

  4. Angela says:

    I’m enjoying this, too – and I would read the book. :)

  5. Ameena says:

    YES! Book please! I feel like it could be the next, “he’s just not that in to you” but i would actually enjoy reading it because it would be honest and applicable and written by the two of you. Love these conversations! Please keep em coming :)

  1. September 19, 2011

    […] Check out Part 2 on Peter’s blog here.  […]

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