OK. So, yeah, a new blog project. I like doing different stuff with blogs. And this one is pretty complex. Don’t let the title fool you. There are subtle nuances and varied layers of —
Oh, screw it. The concept is: I e-mail bloggers. They write me back. You get to peek over our shoulders at what we are typing. Hopefully it’ll be fun for you. Even if it’s not, I still get to e-mail with awesome bloggers.
Up first is one of my long-time blog friends, Megan/Hellafied. If you aren’t yet reading Megan, you should totally remedy that. Megan has the soul of a poet and the body of that receptionist at your girlfriend’s office that you swear that you weren’t looking at but, man, you were so TOTALLY looking at.
A while back, you e-mailed me with a book recommendation. In your note, you mentioned that I write about women “with respect and a boyish awe.”
At the time, I thought it was interesting, but you said other lovely things about my writing, so I focused on them. While fixing my hair in the mirror and winking at myself.
Well, at first I thought you insulted my writing, so I RAGED. But then you explained yourself and I went back to adoring.
(I didn’t really rage.)
(As far as you know.)
I had hoped that I wrote about women with respect. (Anything that smacked of disrespect was definitely meant as a haha.) I never really thought about “awe.”
But I like it.
I’d much rather be in awe of you mysterious beauties than be jaded, you know?
It does make me wonder a little about how I come across in some of my posts. On the STOG, I wrote an open letter to Lauren Graham. It was meant to be funny. But it was linked on a Lauren Graham fan message board. One poster – presumably a teen girl – said that the post made her feel a little bad for me because I seemed helpless. Or hapless? Something.
It made me laugh.
While I’m definitely not super smooth with the ladies, I’ve done alright historically. (Quality, not quantity, of course.)
One thing I love about your writing is how open and honest and pure it is. Do you ever wonder about how it comes across to your readers?
In short, yes. All the time.
Every time I press that “Post Blog” button. As I write this email. In quiet moments at home I am yanked out of domestic sanctuary and filled with feelings of dread about it. Pervasion. All of my thoughts, all of the time.
I know I am a good writer, but I don’t always feel that way. I often wonder sometimes that my writing comes across as trite or self-important.
It gets me good and bothered for a minute, barely settling under my skin, but that’s as far as it goes for me. I’m aware of all the different ways I could come across to people, but I try to let the writing define me, not my audience.
I can pretend out there in the real world, put on the face I want people to see, but I am who I am when I write. It’s that simple. I wouldn’t even know how to fake it.
And I have enough confidence in my writing and the strength of my voice to let the good comments soak in and the bad ones roll off.
Short and sweet, Peter.
Thanks for letting me play,