Peter e-mails bloggers: Amanda edition

In this installment of the award winning*, and cleverly named, blog series “Peter e-mails bloggers” you meet Amanda.

(*I made up the award.**)

(**It involved a sash.)

I am totally singing “Purple Rain” in my head right now.

********************

Amanda!

When I first saw the title of your blog, I thought it was meme-opolis. Like you had created a blog (or city) just for memes.

I’m not really a fan of memes, so I was skeptical. I made THIS face.

OK. That would probably work better in person, right?

But then I realized it was like me! me! – opolis. And that is a concept I can totally get behind. Though, I suppose, it is more like you! you! – opolis. I guess that’s OK too. It would be weird if you wrote a blog all about me.

Or woooould it?

I did figure out the Minneapolis reference right away though. I don’t know much about Minneapolis. Prince is from there, right? “Purple Rain” is one of my favourite albums of all time. The film, on the other hand, was kinda creepy, if I remember correctly.

A couple of weeks ago, you blogged about accepting your blog for what it is. You talked about blogs with large followings and about losing Google Reader followers. (It sucks.) I was wondering if you had given that any more thought.

I sometimes think about what makes one blog more popular than another. Even if they seem very much alike.

I also wonder why posts that are clearly written carefully and lovingly can receive so few comments, while others slapped together hastily can get so many.

Blogging is kinda wacky.

Peter

********************

Dear Peter,

Okay. This is the real response. Are you ready for it?! Please don’t get too excited. (Put your pants back on.) After all, you still need to reply (insert funny/charming) and then I need to reply again (building upon your generously bestowed funny/charming). You said some jibberish about “shorter replies” but you know – come on – you’ve seen my blog. Terse is not how I do. I always use too many words. (I can attempt to tone it down however – for you.)

You’ve confirmed my suspicions about the name of my blog. Truthfully, I’ve been thinking about changing it forever; I just can’t think of a new name.

Would you believe I didn’t even know what a “meme” was when I named my blog “Memeopolis?” Well, I am about to sound snooty and/or pretentious here, but it is a fact that I was familiar with “meme theory” and I didn’t realize that all those sometimes fun, hokey intenet doohickeys were also referred to as “memes.” I have a long list of reasons for the origin of “Memeopolis,” but I wouldn’t’ use your blog to talk about my blog name. However, yes, a play on “Minneapolis” is included. And “Me!-Me!”

YouYouopolis. Otherwise known as PeterDeWolf. Now there’s a name.

I first saw your blog when you commented on mine. The next time I came to your blog, it was because you commented on mine again, a month or so later.

…What can I say? I takes me a while to get into blogs. Sometimes I often read them for a long time before I bother to comment. And sometimes I never comment, because I don’t want the blogger to come to my blog and write a fake comment. Doesn’t that sound horrible? It’s not that I don’t have faith in my writing. I LOVE comments.

It’s just that I’d rather get a comment from someone who is interested, than someone who believes that returning a comment is polite. At some point I decided that I would never comment for the purpose of getting people to my blog. Only if they wrote something I felt I wanted to respond to, you know?

Honing in on my “low G-reader audience” problem…

So yeah, like you said – blogging is kinda wacky. And sometimes demoralizing. And always wonderful. It makes me happy. I’ve spent a lot of time thinking about why I love talking about myself so much on the internet, in plain view of any random stranger. But I think I’ve got it figured out by now: I’m a narcissist.

At least I didn’t name my blog AmandaMitchell.

(Oh, who am I kidding? AmandaMitchell would be way better than MEMEopolis. Maybe I should put a poll on my blog, and hound my 20 regular readers to vote on the issue.)

There are a few things about blogging I have yet to decipher though, and even more things about bloggers. You for example. You said that it would (or would not?) be weird if I wrote a blog all about you. This would impossible, or at least unauthorized, as you would probably object to my method of (nearly) full disclosure. It would have to be fiction, and fiction is not my forte.

Maybe with the material at hand, it could at least be a stog! I think my first topic on YouYouopolis: The Stog would be a research (and/or speculation) piece about why a Canadian would be in love with a television show about American politics.

Not that I don’t believe the sharp writing isn’t multiculturally appealing, or that Canada doesn’t know a lot more about the US than the other way around! It’s rather shameful.

At least you know enough to know that Prince is from Minneapolis, where that creepy movie took place. There are two things that I know about Nova Scotia: (1) It is an island next to Anne of Green Gables Island, and (2) Halifax.

Now three things, I guess: (3) Peter.

(Confession: I kept debating whether or not to write that as “(3) Peter.” or “(3) Peter!”)

(3) Peter!

I don’t know why I told you to put your pants back on up there. I just thought it sounded funny.

Amanda

********************

You! You!,

NOBODY tells me to put my pants back on. Well, the cops did. Once. Listen, if Matthew McConaughey can play the bongos naked, then I can play the banjo in my boxers.

And I can use pop culture references from 1999.

Your reply doesn’t have to be short. I just said that to lure you in and make this project seem ever so easy. I’m sneaky like that. Mwuhaha etc.

Would YOU believe that I wiki’d “meme” once because I had to know where the name originated from. The phrase you are searching for is “super uber dork.”

I have no idea how I first found your blog. It was a while back. I’m sure you left a witty comment someplace and I followed you home. That’s usually how it works with me.

Or it was the tall black boots in your user pic.

Either way…

Did you just mock me for naming my blog PeterDeWolf.com??

I am OUTRAGED.

You are on time out.

Bup!

Bup! Bup!

What part of “Bup! Bup!” didn’t you understand?

Fine. You can talk again.

The reason I named my blog PeterDeWolf.com is because it was originally going to be sort of a portfolio for my writing. That… didn’t really happen. Or did it?

I suppose it kind of is a portfolio for my writing.

Trippy.

I also chose PeterDewolf.com because I am head over Adidas in love with myself. I’d ask myself out right now, if society wouldn’t judge.

Jerks.

I am a little curious about what your methods would be to get the info for the STOG about me. Would they involve making me watch Purple Rain? Because I’d even give away my Twitter password to avoid that business.

As for why a Canadian would love a show about American politics… Well, you mentioned the sharp writing. And, really, that is the main reason. However, there is also fact that we haven’t had a truly interesting leader up here since Trudeau. And he retired in ’84. Canadian Prime Ministers are rarely charismatic. It sucks, really.

And you can’t judge. You live in Minnesota. That’s like Canada, but full of people who weren’t smart enough to find north on a compass.

I got into the West Wing before there was an Obama to get excited about. At that point, your leader was… Well, you know.

I like “Peter!” It’s like Wham! without the flourescent 80’s clothing and plastic jewelry, or the sex in public washrooms.

Mostly.

Sincerely,
Me! Me!

********************

Dear Peter,

The same day you sent me this email – the one in which you mentioned being “head over Adidas in love” with yourself, that you’d ask yourself out, etc – you sent me another email that happened to mention that you would totally date – you. And I think I read in your blog, that very same week, that the liklihood of you making out with yourself, if it were at all possible, would be probable.

Notice a pattern here?

Right, “Amanda spends an obscene amount of time reading the ridiculous things Peter writes all day long.”

I’m not at all surprised that you Wiki’d “meme” to read about the origin. Because…*ahem*…I’ve done the very same thing. Also, I love “The Lord of the Rings” – the BOOK. Yeah, there’s a total NERD! ALERT! going on all over the place in this email. And in your blog (except for the sexy alluringly vague poetry). Because somewhere in between repeated references to an American TV show from the 90s about people walking up and down corridors and misplaced adoration of blonde “celebrities” I am forced to Google (maybe I don’t know about them because they are only celebrities in Canada?), you mentioned that TLOTR is a book you would’ve liked to have written in your little “answers questions” thingy in your blog a couple weeks ago.

It wouldn’t be hard at all to get information for the biographical STOG Peter! First of all, it’s a biography, so 90% of the material can be embellished/invented. Secondly, it’s a STOG, so basically all that is needed are five Peter-based topics, one for each weekday. Not. so. difficult. In fact, I was thinking the other day that the obsessions and blogger could be summarized in approximately five words. Since I’ve spent this whole email talking about you (I think you don’t mind), here are five words that a random passerby might apply to my blog:
(1) photos (2) vodka (3) FEELINGS (4) Cheez-Its (5) weather.

I like that I’ve blogged about THE WEATHER and that somehow you were still interested in reading. You’re very nice. I like you.

The comment about Minnesotans not being able to find North on a compass? Very cute. It’s true; most humans prefer to live where it’s darker and colder.

But I need to warn you about Prince and expressing anything but reverence for the Purple One in Minneapolis.

…………………

I think you get message.

Affectionately,
Amanda

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20 Responses

  1. shine says:

    Those are exactly the two (or now three, I suppose) things I know about Nova Scotia. I watched Anne of Green Gables far too many times as a child.

    • sediqa says:

      Anne of Green Gables is the reason I know where Nova Scotia is …

    • Peter DeWolf says:

      I actually forgot to mention to Amanda that N.S. isn’t an island.

      • Peter DeWolf says:

        I have a serious hate for Anne of Green Gables. My mother took my sister and I (and friend Melanie — who might be reading this. Hey, you dirty hooker.) to visit the house where it was written in PEI.

        Also on that trip was a dinner theatre. If there is one thing everyone should know about me, it is:

        Peter hates dinner theatres!

        I was, like, 13 at the time. And kind of tall, so I was singled out. I growled at a waitress/performer who tried to get me to dance. And was going to punch the waiter who tried next.

        Hmmm. I could have turned this into a blog post.

      • shine says:

        That’s so not the point.

      • Amanda says:

        Son of a bitch – I *did* say island. (Wait, it’s not an island?)

        I LOVE AOGG. My mom and I watched the TV series together when I was little, and then I read all the books. It’s probably the reason I know Canada exists.

        • Peter DeWolf says:

          Nope. Not an island.

          But, as an American, we don’t expect you to know such things.

          • Amanda says:

            If my geography skills are exemplary (and they are), and I *slightly* err on the topic of one small province, this is obviously the fault of Canada for not being more forthcoming.

  2. Katie says:

    I always wondered why this blog was named Peter DeWolf.

    Thank God I know.

    Another one of life’s little mysteries answered.

  3. Lys says:

    i’m okay with you dating yourself. i find that i know myself better than anyone else, and i know how to cheer myself up as well as my favourite restaurants, so it’s a win-win situation. also, i’m a cheap date.

    i still have a problem with jealousy though when i find someone that i want to take home. still working on that.

    good luck in your endeavors, if you’re still trying to get yourself to date yourself.

  4. brandy says:

    I like Amanda. I also like (1) photos (2) vodka (3) FEELINGS (4) Cheez-Its (5) weather. Thus, Amanda and I should be BFF.

    I also like using slang that makes me sound like I’m 14.

    Also, Peter dinner theatre rules. Where else can you eat dinner while simultaneously be getting entertained? (Saying something like eating potato salad while getting a blow job doesn’t count).

    Yeah.

    I’m saying stuff like that today. Watch out world.

  5. brandy says:

    I’m back (not to talk about blow jobs or potato salad), but because I’ve been thinking about this:

    “I also wonder why posts that are clearly written carefully and lovingly can receive so few comments, while others slapped together hastily can get so many.”

    And how I’m at least glad I’m not alone that i wonder about that all the time too.

    • Amanda says:

      I liked that part of Peter’s’ email a lot, but I think it’s destined to remain one of those blogging mysteries.

      One time I’d worked very hard on an entry documenting a trip last year – with photos/stories – and no one commented on it. Not one person. I expressed my disappointment to a friend, asking if she thought the entry sucked etc, and she said “Amanda, I laughed so hard at that post, that I was crying.”

      Go figure.

      Also, Brandy: Totally BFF! Rad.

  6. Annie Wonder says:

    These email exchanges are pretty hilarious, but they’re too damn long. TV and internets have shot my attention span to shit and I find myself thinking about other things to do and lovely lovely daydreams and then I miss all the jokes.

    Anyway, the point I’m trying to make is that Anne of Green Gables is NOT from Nova Scotia, she is from Prince Edward Island.

    geez.

  7. Alex says:

    I was going to write a comment, but then I got distracted by my compass. What is that little ‘N’ doing on there? What does it stand for? Dunno. Guess I’ll just reread “Anne of Green Gables” for the hundredth time and call it a day.

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