Now THIS is a recap – Part 1

If you have read my stuff for a while, you’ll know that I enjoy the Idol shows. Both American and Canadian.

Don’t judge me. Especially not YOU. The things you are into… A goat? For real?

Anywho…

If you have read my stuff for a while, you’ll also know that anything Canadian gets a little special love from me.

That being said, I do think that Canadian Idol is a more enjoyable viewing experience than it’s American cousin. Don’t get me wrong, I enjoyed Taylor Hicks. His “Levon” in the first week of the Top 10 was one of the three greatest American Idol performances ever. (It was slightly ahead of Carrie Underwood’s “Alone.”) And I think that Katharine McPhee is probably the hottest female in the history of reality TV. Seriously.

But, there is something different about Canadian Idol. The Canadian kids seem… less polished. More likeable.

I think it helps that our judges come from more of a rockish (or hip hop) background. The Americans get one token rock guy each year, while we typically get a few more. Plus we get folky types. And usually one lunatic. The Americans never put real loons through. Pity, that.

So, I am going to recap for you the past week on Canadian Idol. It was the Top 22. Why 22? I have no idea. With the strength of the Canuck dollar, I can’t even make exchange rate jokes. Way to handcuff me there, rebounding economy.

The top 11 guys sang on Monday night. The top 11 girls on Tuesday. Canadians voted. On Wednesday night they sent home the bottom two from each group. This brought us down to our… top 18? Yeah, I still don’t know why.

Here is what went down. Ladies first:

Alisha Nauth – Bon Jovi – “Always”

Personally if I am doing some Bon Jovi, I’m going old school. A little “I’ll Be There For You?” Either way, she was quite good. She’s a horrific dancer though. Which seems odd for a cuteish 19 year old girl. I do like that her entire family moved to Toronto from out west someplace to support her singing career.

Talented but lacking zazz. That’s right, I said, “zazz.”

Alyssa Klazek – India.Arie – “Ready For Love”

Peter.DeWolf didn’t like the song. I also didn’t like her performance… her voice… her hair… her clothes… the arrangement…

You know you’ve watched too many of these shows if you are commenting on arrangements or pitchyness. She’s kind of a hippyish chick. She’s 17. I was surprised that she didn’t get sent home.

Anna-Belle Oliva & Valerie Jalbert – Two songs I have forgotten already.

Do you remember on Star Trek: TNG how they’d put together an away crew? “Take Jordi… Data… Wesley Crusher… and Ensign McMurtry and go down to the surface.” McMurty would be tasked with investigating the strange giant rock that somehow gave off life-signs. He’d be running his scanner dealie across the surface of it when someone would yell “Look out!” and BLAM! the rock would eat him.

Every year there is a female French singer (or two in this case) from Quebec who makes it this far, but gets sent home immediately by the voting public. They are the expendable crew members and might as well be wearing red starfleet uniforms. I’m not sure why it always happens. Maybe their singing reminds us of Celine Dion. Or maybe it is because of *cough* separation attempts. *cough*

They got sent home.

Ashley Coles – Heart – “Alone”

She is 16. She is from Caledonia, Ontario. I have family there. Her singing made the speakers on my TV crackle.

That is all.

Ashley Coulter – Sam Cooke – “Bring It Home To Me”

How come when I look at women with short hair I immediately try to picture them with long hair? She seems talented. The song didn’t really work for her. She should try a different style song next week. And she should let her hair grow. You should ALL let your hair grow.

Grow.

Steffi D. – Ella Fitzgerald – “I Only Have Peepers For You.”

She has a 15 letter Italian last name. She’s 17 years old, perky and sings in a very broadway show tunage style. Which I hate. She is talented though. And —

Oh. It says she watches Family Guy. Next.

Sarah Loverock – Michael Bolton – “Since I Fell For You.”

She has this huge booming voice and she picks a Michael Bolton song? For my money it doesn’t get any better than when he sings “When a Man Loves a Woman,” but still…

She IS from Gibsons, BC though — home of “The Beachcombers.” Come on.

Kati Durst – Dobie Gray – “Drift Away”

She’s a cute, hippy chick from Goderich, Ontario. She didn’t do as well as she did in early rounds, but you just know that she’s waiting to explode.

She works as an “automotive detailer” which, for some reason, just seems cool. Maybe it’s a guy thing. Plus, she sings at charity events, wants to make the world a better place, and has had over 70 foster siblings since she was 12. Crap, she’s won me over.

Nancy Silverman – Jann Arden – “Can I Be Your Girl?”

Yes, yes you can.

I am not even sure how to explain this one. You know how old dudes sometimes describe chicks as “She’s a firecracker, that one. Now where’s my stool softener?” Well she is, most definitely, a firecracker.

I don’t think she has a great voice, but she can sing. If that makes any sense. Though she kind of growls most of the lyrics. But, her stage presence is insane. She teaches hip hop by day, so of course she is constantly dancing.

In the top 100 in Toronto, everyone was coming out singing power ballads and the like. Then she struts out, unleashes an energetic version of Bonnie Raitt’s “Something To Talk About” which she ends with a big “Whoooooooooo!”

It was awesome. The watchability factor is strong in this one. I have the show pvr’d and can’t bring myself to erase it.

Her motto is “I can’t get nervous ’cause it gets in the way of me kicking ass.” You don’t get that on American Idol, my friends.

Did I mention the cute girl glasses? Mmmmhmmm.

Eva Avila – Sarah McLachlan – “Angel”


Her name is pronounced Evah and not Eeva. She’s from Hull, QC, which is close enough to Ottawa, to keep her from being an expendable crew member. Well that and the fact that her voice is staggering and she is insanely gorgeous. She looks like Rachel Bilson (from “The O.C.”) with healthy eating habits.

She is a French-Canadian/Peruvian mix. Which may now be at the top of the pantheon of hot mixes. I think it trumps Kristin Kreuk’s Chinese/Dutch goodness, as well as whatever delicious concoction Reiko Aylesworth is.

And there is just a slight hint of a French accent when she sings.

In case you were wondering, here is how French accents measure up for hotness. In reverse order…

4. Acadian
3. Parisian
2. Quebecian
1. Northern New Brunswickian

Eva’s performance was just awesome. Singing was perfect. Looks amazing on camera.

Now I can’t decide if I have more of a crush on her or Nancy.

I wonder if they’ve ever seen “Big Love.”

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  1. jen says:

    I hate to tell you this… but it seems you like women.

  2. James Cooper says:

    Despite the enthusiasm of various folks I know for American Idol and all the other reality television programs, I’ve yet to tune into the phenomenom. So, for better or worse, I really can’t appreciate when people relate their opinions of the latest seasons.

    However, I do like Star Trek and Office Space references :-)

  3. Peter says:

    jen: You know… you just might be onto something.

    James: I was wondering if anyone would catch the OFFICE SPACE quote. Nice work!

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