No post today

I am busy working on something else, so I’m not going to come up with a post today.

I apologize.

But, because I’m a bit of a jerk, I’m going to give you a sneak preview of what you missed.

I apologize.

I have two words for you…

Shakespearean Contractors.

It popped into my head the other night.

From where? I have no idea.

From why? Yeah, same thing.

But, you better believe, it was going to be all kinds of AWESOME.

I suspect that it would have changed the way that blogs are written worldwide.

Just the image of a dude wearing all those ruffles and fruuuuuity hats wearing a tool belt…

I was going to open with a bit about how while Romeo was wondering what light through yonder window was breaking and crap, Juliet’s balcony would collapse.

She would be fine, except for a moderately bruised coccyx. But, he’d make a crack about how Capulets have been using cheap shoddy contractors for years. She’d snap back with something about how the Montagues’ cleaning staff wouldn’t even know how to get rid of the plague. And it would get worse from there.

Of course, this would end the romance… and greatly prolong both of their lives.

And I would have closed the post with this sparkling explanation of how to still be able to have plumber’s butt whilst wearing tights. Hint: It is not as hard as one might think. If you are dedicated.

I feel like I can safely say, without fear of hyperbole, that it would have been the single greatest thing written in the world today.

And sometimes just knowing that is enough.

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  1. James Cooper says:

    For some reason my brain meshed handymen speaking with Jersey accents but using Shakespearean style and iambic pentameter. And, of course, the occasional sudden monologue.

    And I’m still confused by the notion of posting that there will be no post.

  2. Peter says:

    I am confusing like that. ;)

    Now I’ll comment to say that I won’t be commenting… on comments.

  3. LG says:

    Darn you, Peter. I was just going to not comment since you didn’t post, then you commented about not commenting. I think you may have altered the time-space continuum, you accidental mad physicist, you!

  4. kario says:

    Somehow I accidentally got the phrase “plumber’s butts” mixed up in my brain so that the words sounded like “plumber’s nuts”. Perhaps it’s the late hour or the wine I’ve had this evening, but I can’t picture a man in tights without seeing the front…you know.

    Anyway, I’m done now.

  5. Peter says:

    LG: You are getting waaay too close to figuring out my evil schemes.

    Kario: Contractors wear tights. Plumbers are Romans and wear toga-like dealies.

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