Nickerblog's "Mystery Hotel"

Shane Nickerson has started a creative writing meme based on a photo of an old hotel that he has.(Just to be clear, he has a photo, NOT an old hotel.)

We are supposed to write a 300 word post on it and then “trackback.” Now, I have no idea how to trackback, so this should be interesting.

I do, however, know how to bullshit for 300 words. So, here we go…

Jeb and Jeb Jr. had only ever had their picture taken once before. It was when Jeb Jr. had returned from the first World War with the shrapnel in his ass. He was smiling more on that occasion.

The hotel had fallen on hard times. Elaine, the family matriarch – and the member of the clan with the best mind for business – had up and left a month earlier. The Jebs were not dealing with it well.

Jeb the senior tried to dull the pain with moonshine and long drives in his Model T. Jeb Jr. turned to women of ill-repute. Well, in this small town, they were more like women of slightly sniffly-repute. But, you get the picture.

Many people in the town thought it was disgraceful that this historic hotel was losing some of it’s luster. Warren G. Harding was rumored to have passed a kidney stone there in room 625. And Elaine was rumored to have helped him with it. Nobody ever wanted to know what exactly the “help” entailed.

Elaine was famous for being helpful though.

So, when Elijah came to town, she did her best to help him feel at home. She went above and beyond the call of duty. Then she went below it. Then bent over in front of it. And possibly even took it once in the bath.

Elijah knew she was married, but he never knew to whom. He was just a lonely newcomer to town, who was trying to start his business as a photographer.

The Jebs knew exactly who Elaine left them for.

Elijah would forever refer to this photo as “Right Before The Spittoons Flew.”

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