New "Official" PeterDeWolf.com Crush
My uncle has a saying…
You can drive a lot of trucks, but never be a truckdriver.
But, if you suck one c–
You know, I think I’m going to go at this from another direction.
Things change when something becomes “official.”
Like when you are officially old enough to vote. Or officially old enough to drink. Being officially old enough to drive a car is a great thing. Being officially old enough to be tried as an adult isn’t.
Just recently I realized that I was officially too old to watch the new season of “Laguna Beach.”
Some of you might say that I have always been officially too old to watch “Laguna Beach.”
And, well, that would be accurate…
But, kinda mean. *sniffle*
[At this point you may think that I’m going to start talking about Lukas being named the lead singer of Supernova (or whatever the new band name will be.) But, I’m not the kind of guy to say “I told you so.” I am, however, the kind of guy who sits back with a smug smile that you want to punch off his face. Thankfully this is a blog, eh? And maybe the word “crush” in the title tipped you off that this wasn’t about Lukas…]
For the longest time, I didn’t even know who my crush was. She’d briefly flicker across my TV screen and then *poof* she was gone.
The girl from the Mercury ads.
The first time I saw her, I immediately thought, “Sweet banana fuck… that girl is 256 shades of hot. And, man, I totally feel like buying a Mercury Mariner now.”
Then weeks later, I’d see another ad. She’d look even hotter. Finally yesterday, I had to try a little googling to at least put a name with the face.
And google, once again, came through…
So, now if you see two people arguing on the subway about who the PDDC crush is, you’ll be able to defuse the situation.
Or if Alex Trebek asks it on Final Jeopardy – and you bet everything – you’ll be able to beat that know-it-all lawyer that went to Stanford.
And if you happen to meet the lovely Jill, perhaps at Target, buying the second season of “The Office” on DVD, then you’ll congratulate her on being the “official” crush. She’ll beam. You’ll gush. A single tear will stream slowly down her cheek.
It’ll be glorious.
Then maybe she’ll invite you to see [the band still sorta named Supernova] in concert with her. And you’ll both marvel at how electric a lead singer Lukas is.