My Weekend: The ACN, SNL & The Killers

This past weekend, the ACN came to visit. She brought her silly 6 month old border collie named “Nipper.”

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Nipper nips at things. And people. Mostly toes.

I haven’t done any research on this, but I’ve been lead to believe that border collies nip at sheep to keep them from wandering off and whatnot.

Since I have little to no sheep wandering through the house, Nipper has to amuse herself with other things. Like eating q-tips, kleenex, leaves, old lobster shells, any food that we drop or are in the process of dropping, socks, and the aforementioned toes. She sometimes tries to eat rocks that are the size of her own head.

Nipper also seems to have developed a crush on me. She followed me everywhere and would look at me and whimper if I didn’t pay enough attention. My sister laughed and said that the ACN trained Nipper that I was an easy mark and a sucker.

I’m also allergic to dogs, so with Nipper’s love came some pain and suffering for me.

But, the ACN looooooooooooooves Nipper. So, I can’t complain.

The other night, the ACN decided that she was no longer a big girl. She was a kitty cat. And everytime I asked her about this transformation, she giggled like crazy.

Later in the weekend, she also decided that her new name was “Esmerelda.” She then decided that I was “Uncle Batholomew.”

For a little cutie that can only say a couple of words, she is really good at playing tricks.

The monkey was here too. ACN decided her name should be Gretchen.

(ACN makes these decisions based on us offering many options. She shakes her head to any that she doesn’t like. when you get to the right option, she laughs and says “Yeeeeaaaah!”)

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The monkey and the ACN made some Hallowe’en chocolates together. Well, the ACN did more eating than making, and she was quite content with that. Nipper nibbled the monkey’s toes.

Nipper was re-named “Esmerelda 2” or “Fuzzy Esmerelda.”

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The monkey read the ACN a bunch of books. Pretty much every book in the house except for the one I wrote for the ACN. She always says “No” to it and then watches me for a reaction. If I so much as make a sad face, she howls with laughter.

She loooooves to torture me.

You can tell we’re related.

Also, this weekend I recorded the season premiere of Saturday Night Live. I can’t remember the last time I watched an entire episode, but I wouldn’t be surprised if it was almost a decade ago. I vaguely remember Norm Macdonald being Bob Dole.

My plan was to watch the episode and then blog about it.

Well, I watched the opening skit. It was crap. Then the new opening credits. They were okay. Then Dane Cook’s monologue.

Bru-tal.

I stopped watching at that point.

Methinks Mr. Cook should spend more time writing material, and less time in the gym and the too-tight t-shirt shop.

It is possible that I’ll try to finish watching the episode at some point. But, I promise nothing.

Oh, I did zip ahead and watch the two performances by The Killers.

Underwhelming.

I love The Killers. I enjoyed the shit out of the first album.

I got my hands on the new one last week. I’ve been listening to it ever since. And I’ve been reading the horrible online reviews.

And, you know, it’s really not that bad.

Seriously.

It’s not chock full of hits like “Hot Fuss” was, but I think it’s pretty solid. For the most part…

With the glaring exception of “Enterlude” and “Exitlude.” Whoever produced this album should lose their producer’s badge for not warning the band how terrible an idea those two “songs” were.

Oh, and “Uncle Johnny” was a bad, bad idea as well.

What I’ve done – with the help of ye olde iTunes – is re-do the album. I cut out the “ludes” and “Uncle Johnny” and added in the “All The Pretty Face” bonus track.

It works MUCH better now.

“Bling,” “Bones” and “This River is Wild” are all good tunes.

“When You Were young” is, of course, cool bananas.

So, don’t believe the anti-hype.

I think Nipper bit a hole in these socks too.

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8 Responses

  1. Dave says:

    I agree with you about Cook’s opening monologue, Pete. What’s with the (weak) stand-up routine? It felt forced and out of place on SNL.

    The show did have a few good bits. I enjoyed the Homeland Security sketch and the opening of Weekend Update. I think there were a few other funny moments, but none are sticking out in my head (which probably says something about it).

  2. James Cooper says:

    I tried SNL again sometime during the 90s, haven’t gone back since. In fact, funniest part is that the episodes I enjoyed most were reruns from before my time. Go figure.

    Nipper sounds like an awesome dog, but then I think most dogs are awesome. Good to hear you, the ACN, and the monkey had such a great time.

  3. Jennie (Serendipity) says:

    I absolutely loathe Dane Cook. He’s a no talent ass clown. Sounds like you had fun with your nieces.

    I read “If You Give A Pig A Pancake,” to my little nieces, which is soooo cute. I highly recommend reading that book to ACN and the monkey, while making pancakes. :-)

  4. Kukka-Maria says:

    I love hearing about time spent with ACN…or should I say, “Esmerelda?” The word I think of when I read your accounts of her is: Jubilation.

    SNL. Ok. I watched it. And [ducking from the rotten tomatoes I am sure will be chucked at my head] I am a Dane Cook fan. HAVING SAID THAT, I thought his first appearance on the show was far better than this one. And, though I like his stand-up (and too-tight tees, Mr. DeWolf…if that is your real name), I agree it is really out of place for an SNL monologue. He should follow the pattern of a three minute ditty, offer up a “The Killers are here tonight!” and a hearty “Don’t go away…we’ll be right back!”

    And I just have to say (because I know you’ll agree), that I LOVE “HOW I MET YOUR MOTHER!” Last night’s episode? Brilliant. The calves? Snorted Crystal Light through my nose.

    Ahhhhh…HIMYM…

    I think this comment was longer than my own post for today!

  5. LG says:

    I changed channels before the monologue was over. Not that SNL is ever really good, but I usually try to make it to the first sketch if I watch. Dane Cook sucks.

  6. James Cooper says:

    Psst, Peter, it’s National Novel Writing Month next month (though techincally it’s International. Write a 50,000 word (~175 page) novel in one month. Just crank that puppy out.

    I’m giving it a shot, are you game?

  7. Anonymous says:

    Man. I haven’t even bother to watch SNL in years…

    That show has fallen so far.

    Steve~

  8. Peter says:

    Dave: I read someplace that the opening of Weekend update was funny as well. Still haven’t built up the nerve to watch the rest of the show. Haven’t deleted it though… yet.

    James: Had a ton of fun with the twerps and the pooch. I could do without the toe nibbling though. (Whoa… prom night flashbacks.)

    jennie: Thanks, I’ll keep an eye out for that book!

    k-m: HIMYM is sooo awesome. I loved the second episode the most so far this season. It was Barney to the core.

    lg: You and I could watch TV together.

    James pt. 2: I am working on a project right now, but hopefully will get it done this month. And I dooo have an idea for a novel. November, eh? Okay, I’m in!

    Steve: I am sooooooo with you, man.

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