My middle name isn’t Evelyn

It’s 7:18 am and I’m thinking about how it has recently been brought to my attention that I’m kind of Ted Mosby-ish. Or “totally Ted Mosby.”

Truth be told, it’s one of those things I realized when I watched the How I Met Your Mother pilot for the first time and just found myself nodding a lot. A lot.

Tell her you love her right away?


I mean, I wouldn’t do it myself. Probably. But I remember thinking, “Wouldn’t it be cool if we COULD?”

I don’t think anybody would say yes if I did ask that.

But… wouldn’t it?

When you find yourself in one of those incredibly rare (for me anyway) situations where you reallllllly liiiiiiiiiike someone, wouldn’t it be amazing to just be able to say everything you’re thinking.

“We’ve talked for exactly thirty minutes and I already like you waaaaay more than what is even remotely reasonable.”

“I know we just met, but I already have seven things on a future Christmas gifts list for you.”

“Your brain, and the way you see the world, is the sexiest thing I have ever encountered. Never stop talking to me.”

“I wish I could hug how smart you are.”

“There’s an event 5 months from now and I would lop off a pinky toe to have you be my date.”

“Sorry for being quiet. I’m crushing on you so hard that I kinda forgot to speak.”

“If your hair was a country, I’d be applying for asylum right now.”

“I think I missed you before I even met you.”

“I want to know your favourite meals and cook them all for you.”

“I don’t know your middle name, but it absolutely destroys me when you talk about when you’re sad or overwhelmed.”

“You don’t know my middle name, but I want to be the person you lean on when you’re having those bad days.”

“Can we make out for the next three hours while watching Netflix documentaries? Oh. I’m Peter, by the way.”

“I already daydream about waking up to your face.”

“You feel it too, but I’m going to patiently wait until you realize that.”

“Seeing you interact with children makes me want to impregnate you on the way home.”

I could go on. And on. Seriously. But I feel like most of you are staring at me right now. Unblinking. Possibly raising an eye brow. And that’s fine.

But maybe someone is nodding like I did when I first saw Ted on the small screen?

When I saw a general resemblance.

*Salutes* “General Resemblance.”

I worry about my Ted Mosby-ness. I really do. Even though it only appears every 4 or 5 years. I worry that I’ll push a situation when a little space is all that’s needed. I worry that I’ll say entirely too much, entirely too soon and fuck things all the way up. I worry that awesome smushy feelings could make people skittish.

But there is something even worse that a Ted Mosby might do.

Maybe I’ll be too considerate at some point? Will I give space when I should be fighting for something awesome? Will I put someone else’s feelings and requests first to a fault?

Maybe I’ll hold back from saying, or writing, the perfect thing that can make all the difference.

The thing that can tear down walls and make someone see what I already know to be true.

Too much or too little?

Feast or famine?

I genuinely don’t know the answer.

WWTMD? (What would Ted Mosby do?)

Well he’d screw it up over and over until he found the right person.

And then he’d screw it up again, but it would somehow work out because he’s him and he deserves it.

I trust that it’ll work out for me too.

photo credit: Josh Radnor via photopin (license)

6 thoughts on “My middle name isn’t Evelyn

  1. I suspect that being Ted Mosby-ish is far more common than you think, and that many of those who “suffer” with it struggle to figure out where that safe middle ground is. I’d go on to say that I think it’s probably far more common in women. I think the chances of a woman scaring a man away by acting on a Ted Mosby-ish impulse is far greater than a man scaring off a woman.

    It’s nice to see you blogging again. :)

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