mini monkey post

After a visit last night that included her telling The ACN the following joke on the phone: “Snowflake, why is Tigger stinky? Because he sits next to Pooh.” The Monkey was getting ready to go home.

She put on her giant school bag and we walked to the door. She spun around in circles a few times, looking for her shoes and pretending that the school bag was weighing her down.

She suddenly and inexplicably started talking in an old lady voice:

“Where are my shooooes, sonny? Oh… there they are. Ohhhh. Sore back. My spine doesn’t work like it used to. Did you know, that in 1986… in 1986 I was in the World War II. It was a good time. Ohhh. One of these times I am going to break in two, there. (As I held the door open for her.) You’re pretty tall for a young fella.”

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  1. lspoon says:

    HAHA! So WWII was in 1986 huh? Man history changes everyday!

  2. Katie says:

    oh my gosh, what a ham. How funny!

  3. mindy says:

    Why do you call her the Monkey? I think you should start calling her something more appropriate and creative, like…”Clowny”.
    Har har har. I crack myself up.
    Er…um. Yeah.

  4. Peter says:

    mindy: Hmmm. I think it was her daddy who started calling her the “little monkey” when she was a baby. It just stuck.

  5. distractedspunk says:

    I just shake my head in bewilderment. Some genes, Peter, some genes…

  6. theselittlemoments says:

    Haha, man. I feel so old now. I was like, 4 in ’86! :)

  7. Katie says:

    Peter, I was just killing some time and reading some of your old posts… back in April 2006 you have a post titled Airport Bar. I loved it! You had me totally hooked, and the ending was perfect.

    Awesome.

  8. Clink says:

    Dear Saturday Night Live,

    The Monkey will save your show. Please hire her.

    Love,

    Clink

  9. skinny says:

    the Monkey will out-do you in no time!!

  10. Ashley says:

    HAHAHAHA ohmygod i love her. that is HYSTERICAL.

    And I second Clink–this girl needs to be on SNL, because that show? Needs her humor.

  11. Airam says:

    She needs to go in showbiz.

  12. libby says:

    what a hilarious in its historical inaccuracy/random and sorta whaaaat theee…? type of comment.

    i know that made no sense. shuttup.

  13. Hellafied says:

    Since you’ve opted to not allow comments on the post above this, I’m just going to comment here.

    Peter, whoever has been giving you a hard time about the girl commenters is just jealous. Simple as that. You are a dreamboat.

    And if they still give you a hard time, I’ve made a naughty list of people I’m going to beat down with a baseball bat in the next few weeks so I would be happy to add them to it.

    *big smooch*

  14. Eve says:

    Gotta comment.

    Don’t let a blog commenter change who you are or how you blog. Fuck ’em.

  15. Tia says:

    like i said, you just can’t TEACH that shiz*.

    (i’m censoring myself, what with it being so close to the birth of the baby jesus and all.)

  16. Peter says:

    distracted spunk: We make cute little ones up here, eh?

    molly: Yes… that would make YOU old. Grrrrrrr.

    katie: Thanks so much! I forgot about that one.

    clink: She’d hold out for a HBO special and sitcom deal with CBS.

    skinny: Too late.

    ashley: She is like that all the time.

    libby: Did you just tell me to shutup?

    hellafied: *adore adore adore*

    eve: Agreed!

    tia: The Baby Jesus doesn’t like swearing, or dirty limericks, at all. Good call.

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