mid-night confessions

hmmm
can’t see
blink
one eye
then the other
finally
the clock
is coming into focus
scroll through my
address book
there she is
sleepy smile
wait
she wanted me to call
right?
right
hit the phone icon
it’s ringing
holy shitbirds
she did want me
to call
i think
oh, man
she whispered hello
be suave
be suave
hiiiiiiiiiiii
so glad i’m getting to talk to you

yeah
real suave
are you swooning?
dude
you’re burly
feel your face
all stubbly
you used to
fish lobster
be
a
man
your voice crushes me
your genitals aren’t
just ornamental!
okay
okay
she’s sleepy too
and… adorable
but sleepy so
maybe she isn’t noticing
just
don’t say anything stupid
don’t do it
definitely don’t tell her
that sometimes when you walk
into a room
you imagine her being there
and practice what
facial expression you’d make
wait
what did you just do?
what did YOU just do?
was that a giggle?
you sicken me
i need a new gig
i’m an in-demand inner voice
you know
i don’t want to name-drop
but
the korean dude from
harold and kumar…
okay
it’s okay
you’re saying your
good byes
don’t propose
what?
you sighed?
honestly?
you wear
SIZE TWELVE AND A HALF SHOES
what is wrong with you?
good night
man
that
was…
awesome!
i hope she’ll let us
call again tomorrow night

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10 Responses

  1. Michael says:

    These are scary good, Peter. Scary good. Are you sure you’re not a mind reader?

  2. I seriously love these. You make my day.

  3. Jenn says:

    I really liked this one.

    “your genitals aren’t
    just ornamental!”

    Best part!

  4. BS says:

    I was going to say something snarky about you calling the POP-CORN lady, but then I realized that only the people from Northern California would get it, so instead I’ll just say that manly giggles are hot.

  5. So, you used to fish lobster huh?

    Yes, I assume everything you write is actually about you.

  6. Catherine says:

    “holy shitbirds”….. genius.

  7. i want to know who this is about.

  8. HippieChyck says:

    “don’t propose” – yup. feel like i’ve been chanting that mantra for a few weeks now.

  9. LiLu says:

    “You used to fish lobster.”

    I fucking love you.

    I SO wish you were coming in October.

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