Like reality TV… but on a blog

Ages ago, I was discussing an idea for a series of blog posts with Molly and Clink. (Though mostly Molly, I think.)

You remember that reality show “Farmer Wants a Wife?”

Probably not, eh?  I think it’s ratings were somewhere between “Dirty, Sexy Money” and an hour-long infomercial for the ShamWow.  “You know that Germans always make good stuff.”

Well, a farmer dude in the Midwest someplace was looking for a wife, so the good people of the CW shipped in a boatload of skirts from around the U.S. in an effort to help him find true love.  Or something like that.  Many of them were culture shocked.  “He, like, lives on a farm.”  Dude ended up picking a Britney Spears clone (though possibly more immature and less bright) and booted a cute (though vulgar and drunken) brunette from Chicago too early.

It was beautiful.

Soooooo, this new blog game is called…

BLOGGER WANTS A WIFE.

(“Wants” is entirely too strong a word.)

(And “Blogger” probably won’t marry the winner.  Or meet her.  Or even remember her name a week later.)

Excited?  Here is how it works:

1) Female bloggers e-mail me at peterdewolf(at)gmail.com and say something like, “Hey, I am completely bored…”
2) List of competitors is announced.  (Unless I get, like, two people, and then this post you are currently reading mysteriously vanishes.)
3) Weekly “competitions.”  (This will require VERY little effort.)
4) Readers vote.  And then I boot one of the bottom two competitors.
5) Eventually a “winner” is announced.
6) ???
7) Profit.

Before you get all “You think that YOU are a prize?”

The answer to that is clear…

YES!

But that is not the point.  This is all for funsies.

(Please note:  It is entirely probable that this is one of those things that I come up with, and post, and then realize it is just a terrible idea.  And possibly offensive to women… and reality shows… and Germans.)

(Please also note:  I won’t boot cute brunettes for being vulgar drunks.)

(Just note:  Olympic divers use the ShamWow during competitions!)

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No Responses

  1. ismud says:

    Click me please……….!
    You’ll like me…!

  2. Ben says:

    “It sells itself!”

    THEN WHY ARE YOU ON MY TV ALL THE TIME?!?!

  3. Peter DeWolf says:

    ismud: Your excitement disturbs me.

    Ben: See?? You get it!

  4. JenBun says:

    Can I be one of the sexy-yet-totally-impartial judges??

    You know, in case of a tie or attempted bribery (with ShamWows!)…

    (Remember, contestants: He, like, lives in Canada.)

    ;)

  5. Thrice says:

    I don’t even know what to comment..ermm..I’m a cute brunette who likes to booze? ah, nevermind.

  6. Katie says:

    SAY WHAT?? I’m still waiting for Johnny Depp. ;)

  7. E.P. says:

    I actually remember that awful show because it came on before a show my roommate watched! Whatever happened with that anyways?

    I love this idea, haha!

  8. maddy says:

    The Australian version is about to start its third season, which I blame entirely on my sisters’ inexplicable obsession with it. I have a lot of sisters.

    They say: Farmers must be genuinely looking for true love and be prepared to have their journey filmed.
    So, Peter, We need a vlog of your tears and anguish, deciding between immature blondes and vulgar brunettes. (I am probably both, but my list of people to marry is already rather long)

  9. Sues says:

    WHY does nobody watch “Dirty Sexy Money”???

    And WHY is the ShamWow guy so obnoxious???

    Also, I totally wanted to watch that farmer show and then somehow forgot about it.

    Now if you excuse me, I’m in the middle of watching the 8493th season of The Bachelor.

  10. Hope says:

    Hell, I really hope this pans out. Peter deWolf Reality Star. Got a nice ring to it don’t you think?

  11. B says:

    Huh… I’m oddly intrigued…

  12. brandy says:

    I want to be a judge. Or at least someone who gets to make mean comments to hopeful contenders. I’m kidding.

    Seriously though? After football and Canada winning gold in hockey, I’m not sure my heart could take another competition.

  13. Noelle says:

    Ever since I was a little girl, I dreamed about marrying a man through a blog contest.

    The weird thing is that there weren’t even blogs in the 80’s.

  14. sid says:

    Okay I’m dropping you a mail and entering this competition. Should be interesting … right?

  15. Stefanie says:

    I once went out with a guy who compared me to Lauren Graham.

    Do I win?

  16. AuburnKat says:

    Hmmm…I think I need to enter so I can have some fun. Afterall, I am a bored girl! Do I still have to email you?

  17. Far says:

    LOL so its come to this huh Pdub!! I think ive earned my right to be a judge!!

  18. jen says:

    shoulders.

  19. i’m a newbie but i’m in

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