just some of the ways i want to kiss you

I want to kiss you at that point, in the morning, when you’re not really awake, but you’re moderately aware. The outside world is still being held at bay, and the only voices in our heads are our own. I want to kiss you then. With messy hair and sleepy eyes and morning breath, I want to make out with you sweetly. I want my kisses to thank you for being there. For having stayed. We have time before the hordes intrude, dear. There’s no subtext early in the morning. There’s your lips on mine. There’s my hands on your body.

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I want to kiss you, love, up against a brick wall. We’re almost hiding from a third-wheeling rain. Home is only a few minutes away. But then we would have had to wait. The white noise drowning out every thought in my head except for your soft lips. A cool droplet falls down the back of my shirt, leaving a trail I want your nails to follow. We can’t tell if the goosebumps are coming from the inside, or external forces. We don’t care.

****

I want to kiss you in a field in the early evening, when the sun has called it a day and the moon hasn’t started watching the clock yet. It’s dark, but not terribly so. The rain ended a few hours ago. The world sounds a little bit different. I want to stand in front of you, with you looking up at me with those eyes. Fuck. Those eyes. My hands on your hips. You on your tippiest of toes. I want to stay here – right here – for as long as possible. And when your lips look just like way too much to resist, I want to kiss you a little more forcefully than either of us expected. I want us to keep kissing, as the darkness falls all around, save for the fireflies spelling out messages just for us.

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I want to kiss you when we know it’s coming. Sexual kinetic energy won’t be denied. Eventually. “Instant” is for soup or rice, not gratification. This has to be savored and earned. It’s all about the building. I’ll never tire of your lips, but my kisses have a passport and want to see the world. I know the spots, dear. I know all your spots. I will make the sounds get caught in your throat before they’re ever so slowly… released.

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I want to kiss you after. When it’s like it is taking every bit of energy I have left to find your lips, but I need to. I need to feel the connection. I need to share the moments when the endorphins are running the show. I want to kiss you with our lightly chapped and numb lips. I want to kiss you with dry mouths, tasting the tastes. I want to lightly touch you when we feel like our bodies are nothing but nerve endings that are, like everything else with us, close to the surface. I want to keep kissing you until you fall asleep.

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I just want to say “hi” with kisses. Every damn time I see you. Before the words. I don’t care if you’ve been gone a month, or you just went to the store to pick up some of those addictive white chocolate-coated Oreos, I want to welcome you back with a kiss so good and real that it almost makes you want to leave again. But not for long.

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I want to kiss you goodbye as infrequently as humanly possible. But when I do, I want to make it count. I want it to hold us over until our next kiss. It will have love and like and deep fucking cravings that will keep us just the right amount of distracted. Until the next time. I want us to stop and look and kiss again. Because it’s not enough. It’s never, ever enough.

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I want to kiss your forehead when you do something so sweet that words fail. To deliver. Soft. My hands on your cheeks. Soft. It’s a kiss when an exhale, because it’s all way too much to hold in.

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When we fight, I want to kiss you in the middle of it. As a reminder, mostly, that we should be fighting with, not against. And that sometimes non-verbal is the loudest communication of all. Red faces. Racing hearts. Breath short. I want to earn that.

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I want to kiss you after a fight, when everything is raw. What’s a better salve for hurt feelings or bruised egos? I want to apply it liberally. Our kisses will say sorry when they don’t need to. Our kisses will take the blame because they know it doesn’t matter.

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I want to kiss you softly, when you’re sick. “But, you’ll catch it…” “Squirrels plant thousands of new trees each year simply by forgetting where they put their acorns.” “What?” “Sorry. I thought we were saying things that really don’t matter.”

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I want to kiss you when it’s been just too fucking long. I want to kiss you when I’m afraid to forget something utterly unforgettable. I want to kiss you loud and messy and miss more than we hit. We’ll stop to catch out breath, but be unable to wait long enough to complete the pursuit.

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I want to kiss you when you look at me. When I know, with nothing bordering on a doubt, that you get it. And that you get me. And that we’re a team and we can handle whatever life throws at us. I want to kiss you because you’re the person who will hold my hand and “woohoo!” as we ride over the bumps in the road.

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I want to kiss you in front of friends and family and every goddamn person we ever met. “You may kiss the bride” will sound like a starters pistol to me. Their “maybe a little too long” won’t be long enough for me. If we opened our eyes, to sneak a peek, the assembled crowd would be a kaleidoscope blur. I want to always, always kiss like we’re the only ones.

****

I want to kiss when you when I want to kiss you.

 

 

 

 

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photo credit: ·Cuentosdeunaimbecila· via photopin cc

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