Just de-lovely and delicious

I have a confession to make…

I sang Deee-Lite’s “Groove Is In The Heart” in the shower this morning. (Groove was most definitely not in my bathroom.)

Also… I watch American Idol. And Canadian Idol. And I’d probably watch East Timorian Idol.

I like competition. I like when my favourites win. I like raging when my favourites lose.

I am not all that passionate about most reality TV. Not like some people and their Scott Baio. Speaking of…. A month or so ago, my father asked me, “Have you seen that Scott Baio is 45 and single show?” I replied that I had seen a few episodes. He said, “That is going to be you someday!” And started laughing. I had no answer. Spite is not an acceptable reason to get married, is it?

Sometimes my Idol favourites are not 100% based on singing ability. For example, this year it is Future Wife Amy Davis — who, I think we can agree, is all manner of ha-cha-cha. For the record, I picked her before seeing this picture. Honestly!

I don’t like that I don’t get a vote.

Originally I had planned to live blog last night’s performance night. All 12 boys sang. When the show started, I had the laptop on my lap. Midway through the first song, I put the laptop down beside me. Two notes into the second performer, I put the laptop on the floor, and performed my first of many quick checks of the score of the Ottawa/Philly hockey game. By, the end of the show I was drawing on the notepad next to my bed. Mostly pictures of me with a mohawk. I… don’t know why.

When it was over, I conferred with another Idol watcher to see if maybe I was just being harsh. She assured me that “they are all horrible.”

I am also moderately enraged that nobody thought to sing “Whiter Shade of Pale.” Come on.

Maybe I’ll live blog the girls tonight. Maybe.

Or I’ll draw pictures of me in a goatee. And possibly rollerskating.

This whole thing has lead me to think about how live blogging would have been cool for other moments in history…

Typical Witch Hunt
1600s
Someplace


“Prudence is up next. With shoes like that? Buckles and shit. Homegirl’s a witch. No question. Witch! Witch!

They should sell mead at these things.

Wait! Oh, not Sarah Good! She really knows how to fill out a petticoat. Apparently not a flame resistant petticoat, however…

Anyone else suddenly craving toast?”

McCarthy Era
1950s
USA

“She MAY be a bit of a commie. Possibly. But, that thing she does with her tongue…

I feel like I should send her flowers or something. Red roses too on the nose?

What about choc–

Hmm. Someone’s knocking on my door. I wasn’t expecting anyone.”


The first time I had sex
Sunday, June 14, sooooo long ago
My childhood bedroom

“WHOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO — Oh, crap. Someone’s at the door! No. Sorry. False alarm. Carry on. — OOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!”

I made up the date. But, the WHOOOOOO is pretty much bang on.

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  1. lspoon says:

    Peter you should just give up on anyone on American Idol being good. Besides, Clarkson, Aiken, and Underwood, when was the last time that show found talent?

  2. distractedspunk says:

    You know what you should start watching? The dance shows. SOOOOO good. *swoons* Not Bruno and Carrie Ann’s Dance Wars though. That’s just bullshit.

  3. JenBun says:

    She was a lucky girl, Peter DeWolf.

  4. lfar says:

    I know somebody named Sarah Good! Ha!

    Ps you should watch Australia’s Next Top Model on youtube. Ignore Canada’s and AMerica’s though… they’re not cool. Britains is okay. Germany’s is funny but way long episodes. Hotter girls on Germany though, def.

  5. B2G says:

    I really thought the first guy was good. But it was 60s night… that’s tough.

  6. Tia says:

    i’m partial to Ridiculously-Cute-Super-Young-Guy-that-Simon-really-liked, Dreadlocks-Guy, and Austrailian-Guy.

    the rest of them can kick rocks.

    and distracted spunk is so right about the dance shows. seriously.

  7. Miss Pickle says:

    Dammit, I knew I should have made my Amy-Davis-crush public last week

  8. Hollywood Sucker says:

    Thanks for linking me. I couldn’t tell, but I think the link was in a positive statement. I hope it was!

  9. Steph says:

    I love American and Australian idol too, I’d probably watch Canadian Idol if I could.

    Sad, but true.

  10. MissE says:

    I tend to avoid the “idol” shows because it hurts my ears… and from what you wrote I find myself thanking the gods of television that I missed the aural torture.

    I’m with distractedpunk – try out “So You Think You Can Dance” for size. Awesome stuff. I’m hooked on the first Aussie season – I swear, some of the guys appear to have just told gravity to get ****ed.

    Mind you, I’m also a sucker for “Survivor” – bitchy, backstabbing, “isolated” Americans being subjected to some “fun” challenges and betraying each other left right and centre? Bring it on! Same for “The Amazing Race”.

  11. mindy says:

    Your dad compared you to Scott Baio? Did you punch him? That is possibly the greatest insult a man can bestow upon another man.

  12. JP says:

    What you look like Scott Baio (Or just act like him?)

    As I still have a crush on him..

  13. Peter says:

    lspoon: I don’t really judge them against anyone other than the people they are competing against in their own season.

    distractedspunk: My problem with the dance shows is that I have no idea whether or not they are doing a good job. Some of the women were cute though — if underfed.

    jenbun: I forget who “she” is. Future Wife Amy Davis?

    lfar: I actually DID see a little of the Aussie model show on night somewhere on the upper channels of my dish. The girls did seem more appealing then then the American and Canadian models. (That is based on 12 minutes combined of viewing.)

    b2g: I HATE 60s night. Also when they do “the standards.” Just let them sing whatever they want every damn week, I say.

    tia: I think the 3 you mentioned were the 3 best.

    miss pickle: minemineminemineminemine!

    hollywood sucker: Positive! (With maybe a bit of light picking.)

    stepphers: Not sad! Embrace it.

    misse: I have lost interest in Survivor almost completely.

    mindy: I was completely in shock.

    jp: I don’t think that I look or act like him. Also, I’m not commitment phobe. I am becoming offended all over again!

  14. Susie says:

    I need to catch up on my Idol watching…I’ve been horrible lately. Slash I’ve been out drinking the last 2 nights it’s been on. Sigh…such is the life of an unemployed single girl.

    ANYWAY, Elliott Yamin does an amazinggg version of “Whiter Shade of Pale” on his album. Mmmm I LOVE it!

  15. Peter says:

    Susie: Catch up! I am sure that we’ll have much to argue about.

  16. The Maiden Metallurgist says:

    I am a little embarrassed to admit that I actually do remember the date of the first time I had sex.

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