I've reached a decision…
I think that I’m going to start dating Mandy Moore.
Now, don’t for a minute think that this is a decision that I arrived at easily. You see, Mandy, as it turns out, is a couple of years younger than I realized.
It gave me pause. It did.
But, at the end of the day, or any time really, it just isn’t fair for me to deny her the chance to date me just because of when she was born.
I can’t be that guy.
Nobody knows better than I, that love has it’s ups and downs. Well, actually, I am sure that lots of people know better than I do. Possibly most people. Either way…
Love has its ups and downs. It has its sideways drunken stumbles. It has its confused turns. It has its hesitant back steps. It has its “I stubbed my damn toe because some jerkass moved that chair” one foot hops. I think you get the idea.
So, I’m going to date Mandy Moore. But, until I get to know her better, I am not sure how seriously I’ll date her, you know?
Plus, I’ll need The ACN and The Monkey to check her out first.
If The ACN is willing to give her cheek kissies, I’ll know she’s OK.
The Monkey will probably want a little extra time. She’ll want to sing songs with Mandy. They’ll likely have conversations like this one:
The Monkey: I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.
Mandy: Uhm… what are you singing?
The Monkey: It is my Daddy’s cellphone ring tone.
Mandy: Oh my…
The Monkey: My party’s all over before it begins.
You can pour me some Old Whiskey River my friend.
But I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.
[Yes. This conversation did actually happen, with me playing the Mandy Moore role.]
So, if both little chicks agree, Mandy is in.
I’m pretty excited about this.
Now, I haven’t seen all of Mandy’s movies. But, I did love SAVED. And the one where she is the president’s daughter and running around someplace with a young secret service agent dude was kind of cute. (It was!) And it shouldn’t be confused with the movie where Katie Holmes is the president’s daughter and running around someplace… with a young secret service agent dude.
And I don’t really know Mandy’s music. (Though I like this cover.) I’ll make sure to bone up on her other songs.
Yes, I said “bone up.” Grow up.
Because I am the least shallow guy ever (in this room… right now… typing) this shouldn’t matter to me, but…
Girl is 5’10”.
I haven’t really figured out how to meet Mandy Moore yet. So, if she is in your book club, or is your Facebook friend, help a dude out?
I just need an intro.
I figure all I need is about 20-25 minutes of talking to her and I am golden.
I’d ask you to wish me luck, but… Come on.
If she and I got trapped in an elevator for a couple hours, we’d come out engaged.
Awww. It’s adorable that you think I’m kidding.