I've reached a decision…

I think that I’m going to start dating Mandy Moore.

Now, don’t for a minute think that this is a decision that I arrived at easily. You see, Mandy, as it turns out, is a couple of years younger than I realized.

It gave me pause. It did.

But, at the end of the day, or any time really, it just isn’t fair for me to deny her the chance to date me just because of when she was born.

I can’t be that guy.

I can’t.

I won’t.

Nobody knows better than I, that love has it’s ups and downs. Well, actually, I am sure that lots of people know better than I do. Possibly most people. Either way…

Love has its ups and downs. It has its sideways drunken stumbles. It has its confused turns. It has its hesitant back steps. It has its “I stubbed my damn toe because some jerkass moved that chair” one foot hops. I think you get the idea.

So, I’m going to date Mandy Moore. But, until I get to know her better, I am not sure how seriously I’ll date her, you know?

Plus, I’ll need The ACN and The Monkey to check her out first.

If The ACN is willing to give her cheek kissies, I’ll know she’s OK.

The Monkey will probably want a little extra time. She’ll want to sing songs with Mandy. They’ll likely have conversations like this one:

The Monkey: I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.

Mandy: Uhm… what are you singing?

The Monkey: It is my Daddy’s cellphone ring tone.

Mandy: Oh my…

The Monkey: My party’s all over before it begins.
You can pour me some Old Whiskey River my friend.
But I’ll never smoke weed with Willie again.

[Yes. This conversation did actually happen, with me playing the Mandy Moore role.]

So, if both little chicks agree, Mandy is in.

I’m pretty excited about this.

Now, I haven’t seen all of Mandy’s movies. But, I did love SAVED. And the one where she is the president’s daughter and running around someplace with a young secret service agent dude was kind of cute. (It was!) And it shouldn’t be confused with the movie where Katie Holmes is the president’s daughter and running around someplace… with a young secret service agent dude.

And I don’t really know Mandy’s music. (Though I like this cover.) I’ll make sure to bone up on her other songs.

Yes, I said “bone up.” Grow up.

SO immature.

“Bone up.”

Tee hee.

Because I am the least shallow guy ever (in this room… right now… typing) this shouldn’t matter to me, but…

Girl is 5’10”.

5’10”!!!!

I haven’t really figured out how to meet Mandy Moore yet. So, if she is in your book club, or is your Facebook friend, help a dude out?

I just need an intro.

I figure all I need is about 20-25 minutes of talking to her and I am golden.

I’d ask you to wish me luck, but… Come on.

If she and I got trapped in an elevator for a couple hours, we’d come out engaged.

Awww. It’s adorable that you think I’m kidding.

Also…

5’10”!!!!

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No Responses

  1. each of the two says:

    best of luck my friend (not that you need it, really)

    but i cant quite figure out is 5’10”!!! is a good thing or bad thing?

  2. Peter says:

    It is 70 inches of AWESOME!

  3. Max says:

    I am 5’11” of woman. Put that in your pipe and smoke it. Mandy Moore, phhfffft. ;)

  4. mindy says:

    Excuse me, but Mandy Moore is MY girl crush. You can’t date her – unless you want me to hate you.

    Oh wait…

    Nevermind.

  5. Meghan says:

    Best of luck. I can see the Christmas card picture already.

  6. Susie says:

    Ohhh I LOVE Mandy Moore. I always say if a movie were made about my life (and why wouldn’t it be?) she would play me. But, I’m only 5’3 and 1/2. Sad.

  7. lspoon says:

    You sound like one of my best friends in college. He’d crush on all the tall girls but date all the short ones.

    He always told me he wanted basketball playing children. I had to tell him that genetics don’t work that way.

  8. Peter says:

    max: Are you mad at me or Mandy? Who has the pipe?

    mindy: It’s your turn in Scrabulous. And the girl is mine.

    meghan: I assume that you are wishing me good luck in meeting her, and not in winning her heart.

    susie: 5’3 and a 1/2? Are your parents first cousins?

  9. Clink says:

    If I went that way, I would SO want to date her too.

    I’m actually having dinner with my Publicist Friend tonight. She knows someone who has done a movie with Ms. Moore. She has actually MET Ms. Moore on several occasions and said to me that Ms. Moore is “totally one of us.” Whatever that means.

    I will put in a good word for you.

    Also: I LOVE the Monkey. Love.

  10. Max says:

    Oh, not mad. Just pointing out there are plenty of tall girls around. I actually like Mandy Moore despite her cuteness. She was great on that one episode of “How I Met Your Mother.”

  11. Peter says:

    clink: Good looking out! I was just thinking that if The Monkey actually did meet Mandy Moore, she’d probably sit on her lap, put her arm around her and say, “I think you should be Peter’s girlfriend. He’s a poophead, but then I’d get to hang out with you.”

    max: She WAS great on that.

  12. JenBun says:

    Awww… we think it’s adorable that you’re NOT kidding! (the royal WE, I guess… it just felt like a WE moment… WEEEE, Peter’s dating Mandy Moore! How is she going to feel about having to live in Canada??? Er, I mean, GETTING to live in Canada!)

  13. Michelle and the City says:

    i think you definitely have a chance. :)

  14. tiff says:

    I’m afraid to meet her, because I would be all hemming and hawing and would probably tell her I’m in love with her…when really, I just want to BE her. Or best friends with her. As I am also 5’10 and tall girls need to stick together.

    Plus I want to hear her dish on that douche Braff. So, if you do date her, can you at least spread some Zach stories?

  15. Hollywood Sucker says:

    You know, PeterDeWolf, I think Mandy Moore probably does the same inseparable first/last name combo as ScottBaio.

    Hey MandyMoore, wanna go eat pizza with me?

  16. ana says:

    All the best, you can date her (provided the girls give you the green light)….What can I do to help? Do You want me to eliminate Zach Braff? Send him to the ass end of space with Jenna Devan?

  17. judi says:

    not that it matters what i think but i *hate* that cover. i think she’s talented but that cover makes me want to scream a little bit. i loved her in saved though, that was a great little movie (and it’s the kind of movie i think you have to say that about) :-P heehee

  18. Mel says:

    I love Mandy! I liked her when she was on Scrubs. I think we are the same age – so thats not young Peter!

    Mandy in Canada? Pftt. I think you need to star packing your bags.

  19. B2G says:

    Hey! Be nice to Susie. I’m only 5’2″ so I can’t imagine what you’d have to say about that.

  20. J says:

    I must admit I too have a girl crush on MM. Saved! was too awesome, and so was her version of the Daughter/Secret Service movie.

    Good luck!

  21. Chelsea Talks Smack says:

    ahahahah. I’d date Mandy Moore too.

  22. Steph says:

    Good luck with that. I promise to write to you in the big house when you get arrested for stalking :P

  23. poodlegoose says:

    Found this quote on a site about her… not because I was looking for myself… hmm, ok maybe I was. Anyway…

    “I like older boys, but they think, ‘She’s under age.’ I’d love to have somebody in mind when I sing.”
    Maybe you could change all that. You could be that “somebody.”

  24. Airam says:

    I think the 5’10” is what did it for you.

  25. Girl With Curious Hair says:

    You’d make such a cute couple! And smart choice to have the ANC and the Monkey screen future girlfriends–because you know they’ll all eventually have to get along.

  26. Miss Pickle says:

    I love the conversation with The Monkey! Priceless!

    As for Mandy Moore…back off, I called dibs already! ;O)

    OH…and I agree with Max. She was perfect on HIMYM.

  27. brandy says:

    I like you for this. I’ve often said that I wish she was in better movies or wrote songs that didn’t make me cringe because I would love to have a logical reason for my love for her. When you guys get married, I want to be in the wedding party. Make that happen.

  28. Heidi says:

    Her slowed down, acoustic version of her own “Candy” is awesome, too.

  29. The Stormin Mormon says:

    Pete, I have a feeling that if she met you, she would be hooked… Or she’d mention a hatred of the Blue Jays.

    I have to ask if that would end things for the two of you?

    Like some chick telling me that she hated the Colts. It would be over.

  30. Tia says:

    good call.

    pretty sure mandy moore hasn’t ever “accidentally” shown the world her goodies, so yay for her.

    and she has awesome hair. and that’s really all that matters.

  31. Rachel says:

    firstly…. I LOVE ‘Saved’! i thought i was the only person alive who has ever seen that movie!!!

    secondly… i’m wondering… i see that 5’10 is 70 inches of AWESOME. but is it tall or short??? if it’s short… then i suppose i am a midget….

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