So, you remember how I decided a while back that I was going to write a novel. Because, you know, that is the type of thing I wake up and decide one morning.
Well, I have written a number of chunks, but I have been growing more and more displeased with the big picture. Originally it was sort of a superhero/relationship comedy thing. A month later, the Uma Thurman movie came out.
This caused me to go to my fortress of solitude to think things over. I soon realized that I could still use the chunks I liked, just in a better, more original, story.
This is not the first time this has happened. Some of my other screenplays have started as one thing and eventually morphed into something completely different. A comedy/western becomes a straight western. A romantic-comedy, becomes more of a comedy/chase script. A lead character transforms from a guy into a chick. And, let’s face it, without healthy doses of pre-op hormone treatments, that is not a smooth ride.
So, I had decided to change the story, but I had no idea what I would change it to. Until…
I was watching sports highlights.
That’s right, suckas. Sports Center comes through again. Is there anything it CAN’T do?
I’ve long told girlfriends that I watch all this TV for “work purposes.” Man, I love when shit like that turns out to be true.
I don’t want to give away the premise, but suffice it to say that it is definitely scratching me where I itch more than the superhero thing was.
Now that I have a story I like, I should just shut up and write, right?
Here’s the thing…
Is there even a genre for the type of stuff I write? “Silly male fiction?” Admittedly that was part of the appeal for me in the beginning. Women have “chick lit” so we should have something. “Dude lit.” Of course, some wiseguy will refer to it as “dick lit.” But, now I’ve beaten you to it, jerkass.
I don’t read, like at all, so maybe there is such a genre out there. And perhaps it is thriving. But, I’m going to assume, for now, that there isn’t. Do I want to be the one to try to create a genre? Ego-wise? Sure. But, I don’t know anything about getting a novel published. Squat, Jack. Is this one of those cases where I should just keep blindly plugging away at it?
That’s what I did with my first screenplay. I said, “Other morons are doing it, why can’t I?” So, I did it.
And despite the fact that I have yet to achieve the breakthrough success that I was convinced was just around the corner, I’ve gotten better at it. And I’ve enjoyed the living crap out of it.
Maybe I should write this idea as a screenplay.
It would feel more familiar to me. I know what to do with a screenplay once completed. I know that I can get reads. I’ve done it before. And, quite frankly, the challenge of doing it again excites me.
I’ve been slacking on screenwriting because I’ve been thinking too much. I’ve been trying to anticipate what the reader would want before I even typed anything. It got exhausting. And it is a big part of why I started this site. I wanted to learn how to stop censoring myself. Just write, ya maroon. I do think blogging has helped. I’m not sure how much. But, perhaps it’s time to find out.
I think that I just decided to make this “thing” a screenplay.
I am already happier with it.
One thing about trying to write a novel that I will miss is that I can have my “narrator” making funnies. Harder to do in a screenplay. Though I’ve chucked jokes in scene descriptions, directions… and slug lines. Readers may not love that.
One thing about writing a novel that I won’t miss? What to write after a line of dialogue. The whole “He said” thing. “She replied.” “Jasmine agreed.” “Carrot Top chortled” It’s fucking exhausting.
Now, I’m going to watch some sports highlights. It’s hard work, but someone has to do it.