it’s kind of about bunnies, future wife

Hi.

So I finally got my haircut the other day. Had to do it, lady. Shit was getting rough. It was starting to look like Keanu Reeve’s hair in The Replacements. I even started talking in a strange. halting. manner.

I knew it was trouble when I looked in the mirror and said, “Bodhi, this is your fucking wake-up call, man. I am an F… B… I… Agent! ”

Let’s face it, if you still want to marry me after you’ve heard me quoting from Point Break, I’ve chosen well, Future Wife.

The actual impetus was that my hair had gotten so long that it was curling up from under the sides of my baseball cap. I heard rustling in my ears! It was like I was hunting partridge and one was taking flight every time I turned my head.

Not that I’ve ever hunted partridge before. My dad did take me hunting rabbits when I was a kid. It sucked. We walked around cold and damp woods, while I waited for some local yahoo to take a shot at us, and prayed I wouldn’t be forced to pop a cap in Thumper’s fuzzy ass.

And don’t even get me started on the time I was forced to skin rabbits. You heard me. It’s been almost three decades and I can still smell it… It’s… just…

Too soon, FW. Too soon.

I did learn two things that day. 1) I’m never eating rabbit. 2) I’m never forcing my kids to skin rabbits. Or, you know, any other furry woodland creatures.

I’m assuming you’ll want to have kids.

I think I’ll make a decent Dad. Especially now that DVRs will let me pause live sports and I won’t have to send a kid to boarding school for talking during the playoffs.

How about five kids? What? Starting line-up for a basketball team! No good? We can adopt. (Preferably from countries with tall people.)

Now, lovely Future Wife, I’d never send you a letter just to talk about my hair.

Probably.

Or even about rabbit skinnage.

Definitely.

Here’s the thing: I almost quit blogging a while back.

It’s true.

I even considered doing a post for my birthday that said:

“It’s my birthday.

I’m done with this.

Smell you later.

Peter”

Hmmm. Almost looks like a mini word doodle.

I even mentioned it to a couple people. Though I did tell one friend, “I think I may want to quit blogging… or become the biggest blogger IN THE WORLD.”

I was kidding. Being a famous blogger would suck. They get a crapload of hate mail and mean comments. I’ve only received one really mean comment. “Anonymous” in Colorado called me a “douche bag.”

And now I hate everyone in Colorado.

Seriously. If I got more mean comments, I’d get all GRRRR-faced and be trying to track suckas down. It would be bad bananas all around.

I would actually like to be the “recommended guy.” Like if a person asks a friend who they should be reading, I want the friend to say “Peter.” Maybe you’re asking a friend that right now. And if that chick doesn’t say “Peter” she is not in the wedding!

I just get weirded out by the blog scene sometimes. I worry that I am insulting people by not commenting on their posts. I worry that certain people are reading too much into my posts — or not enough. I get all caught up in it and it gets exhausting.

But instead of quitting blogging, I decided to just write. Whatever I want. Whenever I want.

And now I like blogging again.

It’s funny, I was talking yesterday to a friend that knows me very well. I told her that I just decided to stop thinking about everyone else and do my own thing. She laughed and said that she could have told me that was the way to go. Apparently being completely self-absorbed and ignoring everyone else is me being me.

You know, except for when I’m in a relationship, of course.

(If you could hear me now, you’d hear a little nervous laughter.)

So I’m still blogging. Maybe even more than I was. And I think that is definitely a good thing.

If I stopped blogging, how could you find me?

Love,
Peter

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32 Responses

  1. MissE says:

    “But instead of quitting blogging, I decided to just write. Whatever I want. Whenever I want.” – which is how it should be.

    Glad you haven’t given up.

  2. lemmonex says:

    So, this post is basically all about me, right?

  3. Doniree says:

    I’m glad you decided to stick with it, even if my blog does miss you. Also? I’m taking some credit with the whole birthday posts thing for keeping you in the game.

  4. Ben says:

    You’re already the recommended guy. True story.

  5. Dylan says:

    Glad you are sticking with it. I have only been reading your blog for about a month and I’m hooked!

    p.s. Point Break is awesome!

  6. I’d have to agree with Ben – you are definitely the recommended blogger..and don’t you dare think about quitting blogging.. what is going to happen to all your groupies..

  7. BS says:

    I’ve been having my very own thoughts about blog suicide for all the reasons you mention. Glad you stuck around.

  8. Kara says:

    I would be so sad if you stopped blogging. So I’m glad you worked through it.

  9. Tina says:

    I already have a wonderful husband…. or I would propose marriage! Your writing is incredible! Does an “almost” proposal count? Im not from Colorado! =)

  10. I would have been so sad if you had stopped blogging. I have a theory about FW: she is enjoying these letters so much, she’s holding back a little before she proposes. Just so you write her more letters and make us married gals sad that you’re not addressing us.

  11. Chloe says:

    I would be sad if you stopped blogging. I don’t like the word doodles about sex (because it reminds me I’m not having any) but I love everything else.

    Since the day I stopped caring about what other people thought, truly stopped caring, I have been happier than I ever have been!

  12. Matt says:

    johnny fucking utah!!!!!

  13. Heather Rose says:

    Surfing + Keanu Reeves + Patrick Swayze + Gary Busey + Skydiving + Gut wrenching/tear inducing camaraderie = How can FW not be okay with that?!

    I mean, unless you start thrill seeking and robbing banks, I don’t see a problem here. :P

    Glad you kept blogging, and hate killing bunnies.

    I’ve had a couple pet bunnies. Pontuf & Pacha. They were both exceptionally awesome, and, were you to enjoy small game hunting, I’d cry a little.

  14. Alexia says:

    That’s strange because this weekend I accidentally saw a couple of skinned rabbits. Before I digress (I have that tendency), let me tell you the purpose of this note… I wrote a doodle! Yes, really. I was writing a mini poem and then I thought, ‘Hm, this could work as one of those word-doodle thingies.’ So I tried and it kind of worked. And then I tried another and it turned out to be super long. Even longer than this note. The first one is Hope-ish and the latter is you-ish… I don’t know why.

  15. miss. chief says:

    You suck!

    There, now it’s old news. Two people said mean things to you. Whatever. haha

    I hear good things about your blog, actually. I just started reading two posts ago, and so far I like it

    :)

    I also hear you’re many ladies’ “blog crush”. So…that’s something.

  16. miss. chief says:

    Now that I read what I just wrote, it sounds all mean and sarcastic. I meant it all in a funny way, not a mean way. Just to clarify.

  17. I’m glad you kept blogging. When I see you’ve posted something new I get pretty excited to go read it. I can’t say that for many blogs either…

  18. I can’t stop replaying the football scene in my head..Johnny Utah all the way…whoooa! I have to admit that while reading your blogs I feel that it would be too hard for me to read too much into your thoughts as you lay it all out on the line. You’re a gifted writer/blogger..and that is rare dont give up…even if you had only 1 comment a week..if it makes you want to rob banks and jump out of planes with the dead presidents, then so be it…who are we to judge and call you a douche…I will say this, to all the haters, you may now call them douche canoes!!! (can’t take the cred for the name but do feel that it sums up a lot of the population nicely!)

    (air guitars) check ya later

  19. Ashley says:

    Oh Peter, you always know how to make a girl laugh. Your future wife is going to have a lot to put up with ;)

    Just remember, you can’t get mad at me! You know if you ever quit blogging you’d have to send me daily emails with your humor. So just take that into account if you ever think about that again.

  20. nicole says:

    this person from CO loves your blog! don’t hate on CO too much. and to echo all, so glad you stuck around. :)

  21. BSTalks says:

    I just found you. I would feel terribly dejected if all my searching was for naught.

  22. don’t stop blogging. just don’t.

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