i’m going to be a pain in the ass sometimes, future wife

Hi, love!

It has come to my attention, through countless hours of self-examination and, you know, feedback from everyone I’ve ever met, that sometimes I can be a tiny bit of a pain in the ass.

I was as surprised as you are.

But, truth be told, I can kind of see it.

Sometimes I’ll jump on things you say. Like this.

“When left to my own devices–“

“You keep those in a box under our bed, right?

“Shut up.”

“Okay.”

Or this.

“I have a little rip in my favourite jeans.”

“Please, allow me to pray for you in this, your hour of great need.”

Sometimes it’ll be in how I answer questions.

“Does it make you feel superior?”

“Being superior makes me feel superior. But I guess this is kinda nice too.”

I’m going to be smug. I’m going to be smirky.

Sometimes I won’t smirk, even though you’re waiting for it, because I know that the anticipation can be the worst part.

Sometimes I’ll do it because I am not interested in the current conversation. Sometimes I’ll do it because I find myself to be endlessly hilarious. Sometimes I’ll do it to deflect from something I’m not quite ready to discuss. Sometimes I’ll do it because sarcastic bastard moss grows on the north sides of all the limbs on my family tree.

I think nature and nurture have conspired to make me quite saucy.

I’m pretty incorrigible. I totally can’t be corriged.

But.

I will always be there for you.

Day or night.

When panic attacks. When doubts creep in from edges. When clothes don’t fit like they used to. When eyes wrinkle. When your best efforts fall just short. When the world conspires to try to hold you back.

I’ll be there.

When it just all seems to be too much.

I’ll be there.

Encouragement shouted.

Kind words whispered.

Strong shoulder to put your head on.

Soft touch on your back as we try to lure sleep into our room.

I’ll be there.

You can be you.

I’ll be there.

You can be imperfect.

I’ll be there.

With ready fists to throw punches at anyone taking shots at you.

I won’t permit it.

I’m a wartime consigliere.

I’m a peacetime best friend.

Yeah, sure, I’m going to be a pain in the ass sometimes.

But I’m going to be YOUR pain in the ass.

And you’re going to be thankful for that every day.

Love,
Peter

 

 

 

 

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photo credit: Klearchos Kapoutsis via photopin cc

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2 Responses

  1. cantaloupe says:

    I’m so glad you used the word saucy. I taught my students that word this term and it’s seriously the best thing I did as a teacher. (When they were trying to guess what it meant, one of the kids was like, “More than a normal amount of sauce?” And I was like, “Precisely!”)

  2. Carrie says:

    “Yeah, sure, I’m going to be a pain in the ass sometimes.

    But I’m going to be YOUR pain in the ass.

    And you’re going to be thankful for that every day.”

    ^Swoon.

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