If you weren't real, I would make you up

You always remember your first encounter with someone special.

While it may be imperceptible at first, it changes you.

The way that you smile involuntarily, late at night, when memories of small things she did come rushing back on you. You hope that the darkness hides the truth, a little, even from yourself.

The way that just knowing that someone like her exists gives you hope. In your darkest hours, you didn’t think that they made them that way anymore.

You know, without question, that she is one of those that will be on your mind for a long time — a very long time — no matter how things go.

Even if you wanted to, you couldn’t fight against this tide.

Not that you’d really want to.

You actually give yourself a moment to sit and think about it. You let your guard down enough to enjoy. You lean back and genuinely appreciate.

And then she’s done with you.

It’s better to have loved and lost, they say.

Bull shit.

You know who says that?


People without the nerve to go for what they want. People that live in the past. People that don’t want to risk it any more. Or can’t. Or just won’t.

They didn’t deserve it in the first place.

They didn’t respect it.

This has happened to me, and I am not taking it at all well.

I can’t believe I am typing these words…

Carly Rae Jepsen has been voted off of Canadian Idol.

Wow. That hurt more than I expected.

I’ve never been a fan of democracy.

It’s horse shit.

That the vote of someone that actually cares what Tom Cruise’s kid looks like is equal to my vote…

Madness, I say.

Carly Rae Jepsen is no longer on Canadian Idol.

And we are all the poorer for it.

I… I’m going to need a moment.

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  1. molly says:

    Hahaha my heart WAS going out to you…

  2. jazz says:

    tis better to have loved and lost…

    see, you loved. she lost.

  3. Jacob says:

    Same here. I thought you had been screwed over and you were about to publish this woman’s name and all the horrible secrets you know about her.

    Not that it diminishes the impact of your loss, of course.

  4. Peter says:

    molly: Are you trying to say that my pain isn’t real?

    jazz: That doesn’t feel very supportive.

    jacob: Naw. I’d never be a bean-spiller, even if a woman crossed me. A sleep with her sister-er? Certainly.

  5. Hellafied says:

    Peter, you always do that to me! I think your post is going one way and you lead me another…Tease!

  6. Clink says:

    Can we put your aching heart aside for a moment to ask why the hell we don’t get Canadian idol down here in the States? I should start a petition.

  7. Airam says:

    And here I am thinking you’re baring your soul about a love you had!

  8. Peter says:

    hellafied: What fun would it be if I was completely predictable?

    clink: Even though it takes me a while to get over heartbreak, I will dry the tears long enough to mentioned that lots of Canadian Idol goodness is on YouTube.

    airam: I was!

  9. sybil law says:

    For some reason, I enjoy that you just jerked me around.

  10. mindy says:

    Canadian Idol. I love it.

    How many Maple Leaves are in any given episode?

  11. B says:

    I don’t watch the show but I like your passion

  12. onebigholiday says:

    Great post! I want to see some canadian american idol!

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