I thought that dudes were exempt…

(Or “How to quickly end annoying conversations with family members.”)

my uncle: You need a girlfriend.

me: Meh.

my uncle: It’s true.

me: They are a lot of work.

my uncle: Not all of them.


my uncle: Well, they are worth it.

me: Ohhhhh, I think we both know that isn’t always the case.

my uncle: You are getting older.

me: Bah.

my uncle: You are.

me: But, as long as I keep getting younger girlfriends it all just balances out, right?

My uncle walks away.

me: What? Is that a “no?”

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  1. Michelle and the City says:

    so wait? now that i’m single i’m going to have to have awkward conversations with family members and have to try to divert them from the fact that i’m single?

    this sounds like a lot of work.

  2. sidewaysrain says:

    you know I’m gonna need to know which uncle. E?

  3. Peter says:

    michelle: I am sure that it is much worse for women.

    sideways rain: Yup. Apparently he is over his crush on a certain ex.

  4. sidewaysrain says:

    the nerve.

  5. CamiKaos says:

    No one is exempt from that. I would think especially not men as they are expected to carry on the family name and what not.

  6. Princess of the Universe says:

    I told my Dad once that it was impossible to find a decent man to marry, but sex was easy. Would he mind if I was a single Mom?

    Apparently he did.

    But no one has said a word to me about “why are you still single?” since.

  7. distracted spunk says:

    I’d offer you my best “don’t talk to me about dating” deterrent, but that would mean I’d have to offer myself up to you. And while I’m sure you’re very nice and all, I’m not quite sure you’re ready to handle all that power.

  8. Peter says:

    sideways rain: I know, right? Though it has taken him a while to recover.

    camikaos: I really don’t get much of that. My uncle is just nosy.

    princess of the universe: Now THAT is a good way to handle it. I could threaten to cut a Tom Brady-style sexual swath through the eastern seaboard.

    distracted spunk: Nice ? Maybe. Very nice? Definitely a stretch.

  9. Ashley says:

    I’m glad my parents are under the impression that the 20s are the time to date as many guys as i can. So works well. My stepgrandmother tho, she hasn’t been briefed on the fact that ashley is not allowed to settle down and constantly asking when I’M going to settle down. I laugh hysterically and walk away.

    Maybe thats why she doesnt’ like me…

  10. jamelah says:

    Ha. Just a girlfriend? I am supposed to go out and find a husband, pronto. At this point, I think I could even go the mail-order route, just as long as I was married.


  11. blogging says:

    seriously was laughing out loud at this post. because hi, i’ve been there so many times.

    its kinda like, ohhhh OK, sure! let me just order one right up! so then i got a serious boyfriend. and now she’s all like i can’t wait to be a grandma. to which i’m like, really? i can make that happen, you know. she was less than impressed with that idea. i was happy it shut her up.

    but the conversational exchange? very funny. have a great week :)

  12. Peter says:

    jamelah: You know, I think my family has given up on me getting married. I’d be insulted, you know, if I didn’t enjoy the peace and quiet.

    ashley: Ha! Back in the day, I convinced my grandmother that I got kicked out of school for selling drugs. She didn’t seem shocked. Hmm.

    blogging: Thanks! I hope you have a great week too. And, in my defense, that conversation took place while there was a hockey game on in the room, so my attention was more than a little divided.

  13. molly says:

    (bangs head on desk).

    Oh, Peter.

  14. Peter says:

    molly: Oh, you know I was just funnin’.

  15. Eve says:

    Haha. It’s because you’re challenging their life choices by your own. Plus being in a relationship is always fun. ;)

  16. Stacy says:

    Very funny!

    Love you Jays hat!

    How about that Raps game on Sunday? Woulda, coulda, shoulda.

  17. Airam says:

    I just pretend like I’m deaf.

  18. Steph says:

    Why not tell him you’re gay? I bet that would shut him up.

  19. The Stormin Mormon says:

    Pete, sometimes you remind me of me…

    Then I recall that you’re Canadian. So you’re like me, but you pay more for gas, and less for healthcare. ;-)

  20. 123Valerie says:

    Yeah, go spread your seed already, PDW.

  21. mindy says:

    I think you should just put a baby in someone.

  22. Peter says:

    eve: Always, eh? I don’t know…

    stacy: That Raps game gave me physical pain. SO close.

    airam: I usually just yawn, give an upwards nod and walk away.

    steph: Ha! I somehow doubt that would lead to me being left alone.

    stormin’: So, it balances out!

    valerie & mindy: I totally know how to do that!

  23. La says:

    Um, wait until you start getting the baby pressure like we are, before we’re even married! And maybe you could just tell him you’re gay? That might shut him up. :)

    (Great post over at Clink’s place today!)

  24. each of the two says:

    oh god do i know what you mean (check out my post)

    that and ALL the guys i know feel the same way about just getting with younger chicks, plus, when they are like 14 they dont want to get married yet, though those Hannah Montana tickets are damn expensive.

    (love your post on Clink’s BTW)

  25. DG says:

    Oh yeah, I totally remember the family members asking me when I was going to find a boyfriend before I met C. And now, it’s all about the “when are you getting married” question.

  26. Hope says:

    Yes! You’re just as funny here!
    Off I go to blogroll you? (Can it be a verb I don’t know?)

  27. Beth says:

    Haha. That is priceless.

    I dropped by via Clink. Feel free to visit me as well.

  28. lfar says:

    every time i come to this blog, all i can think is “prison lunch room green”. it’s your fault, you realize.

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