I have a serious question…

What is the most embarrassing song that you can imagine to have playing in the background when you are caught masturbating?

Seriously. I want to know.

Friends, Romans, lurkers, feel free to weigh in.

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  1. Peter says:

    I should add that I am currently leaning towards “Yellow Polka Dot Bikini.”

    I don’t know why…

  2. sween says:

    “Afternoon Delight”?

    “It’s Raining Men”?

    “Hava Nagila”??

  3. non-Blondie says:

    “Every breath you take”?
    There are too many answers to this question.

  4. littlespoon says:

    “Oh baby I like it Raw” ?


  5. srah says:

    “Timothy” by the Buoys.

    Or maybe the Imperial March from Star Wars.

  6. Katie says:

    “So Small” by Carrie Underwood…

    or, “Hit Me With Your Best Shot” Pat Benatar…

    The list really is endless…

  7. Molly says:

    “Hit me baby one more time”?

    “I’m every woman”?

  8. sween says:

    The theme from “Jaws”?

  9. non-Blondie says:

    ‘All I Want For Christmas Is You’ – Mariah Carey. Festive fiddling.

  10. Kathy says:

    Too many answers.

    “My Ding a Ling” by Chuck Berry?

  11. srah says:

    Oh man, Jaws is an awesome answer.

  12. CamiKaos says:

    I Touch Myself

  13. Jenny says:

    “Can’t Touch This” by MC Hammer?

  14. Susie says:

    I was totally thinking “Hit Me Baby One More Time” But anything Barry Manilow would also suffice.

  15. each of the two says:

    a children’s song

    like a nursery rhyme or the ABC’s or something

  16. Jenny says:

    Also, “This is the song that never ends” or whatever those puppets on Lambchop’s Play-Along sing.

    That kind of goes along with each of the two’s comment about kid’s songs. Just so, so inappropriate.

  17. Clink says:

    I’m thinking it doesn’t get more cliche than “I Touch Myself.” And lord knows you don’t want to be cliche when masturbating.

  18. Travelling Tippler says:

    Something romantic- like “Unchained Melody”

  19. brandy says:

    “Do they know it’s Christmas” Any song that relates to Live Aid. Or you know… starving, impoverished people in third world countries.

  20. allie says:

    I would have to say, anything sung by the Muppets or any other large group of animated/puppet characters.

    Well, either that or something sung by Donny Osmond.

    Your choice.

    ps – nice blog!

  21. Kathy says:

    “Little Willie” by Sweet

  22. Paige Jennifer says:

    How the fuck did y’all leave the entire Lionel Richie collection??? Walking in on a guy yanking to anything sung by that crooner would forever scar my brain.

  23. kelsi says:

    i have to admit that the theme from jaws made me laugh out loud. that’s pretty fucking fantastic, and i absolutely can’t top it.

  24. Ashley says:

    That Supermodel song by RuPaul?

    Anything by Michael Bolton.

  25. Rachel says:

    For some reason all i can think off is “Santa Claus is Coming to Town!”

    Don’t ask why….

    but also Childrens songs and stuff like that! (refer to every childlike refrence above)

  26. lfar says:

    The Finale to Les Mis.

  27. BBC says:

    Why in the hell would I want to listen to music when I’m masturbating?

  28. mr.ska says:

    “Bananaphone” by Raffi. Anything by Raffi, actually.

    Willoughby, walloby, we,
    You walked in on me,
    Willoughby, walloby, wonson,
    Yankin’ on my johnson.

    I’d better stop now…

  29. toadely says:

    “I’m Turning Japanese”?

  30. Keith says:

    Christmas Christmas by the Chipmunks.

    Father Figure by George Micheal.

    I’m every woman, Whitney Houston (if your a guy obviously).

  31. brookem says:

    I’m Not a Girl, Not Yet a Woman. OR, I’ll Make Love to You/On Bended Knee.

  32. Amber says:

    How about, “It’s Not Over” By Daughtry.

    “It’s not over. I’ll try to do it right this time around. This love is killing me, but you’re the only one…”


    I so amuse myself some days.

    And this question was too good to stay a lurker.

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