I can't stop listening to the Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens version of "Streets of Bakersfield."

I started a couple of blog posts, but they didn’t go anywhere interesting. For some reason (my general awesomeness, I suppose) I compose my blog posts as a draft e-mail in gmail. I started a word doodle yesterday and mentioned “a tingly feeling” and Google Ads was kind enough to offer me links to all sorts of possible medical reasons for it.

Good looking out.

I should also mention that I am actually composing this in WordPress. Have I gotten so spiteful that I even spite myself now? Possibly.

I can’t even compose Twitter updates. And I refuse to call them “Tweets.” Add that to the list of “words” that I won’t use.

This list also includes:

– hoodies
– shortened and bastardized versions of “whatever”
– wife

Kidding. I’m not opposed to marriage. I’m not! I’ll marry you right now. No, not YOU. Her, maybe.

One phrase I do use is “Program changer”

I can’t remember when I started using this to describe women, but it comes from college sports. It is when a college team attracts a player so good that it changes, well, the program. It leads to success on the field/court. It aids in alumni fund raising and recruiting. It’s good stuff.

Occasionally you meet a woman (or a dude) who does the same to you.

She is not “some girl” I met/dated/ate Hershey’s Hugs out of her belly button. She makes an impact, you know?

You realize right away that the bar has been forever raised.

You know that you’ll either end up with her or always wonder.

The downside of program changers? You meet, like, two a decade.

Elusive whores.

I haven’t opened the floor for questions in a while. You have any?

0 thoughts on “I can't stop listening to the Dwight Yoakam and Buck Owens version of "Streets of Bakersfield."

  1. I’ve walked the streets of Bakersfield and let me tell you…that place is a pit.

    Am I allowed to feel like I was someone’s program changer? Or does that make me a conceited fuckwit? No really, those are my questions.

    And I found my last program changer when Clinton was in office, so I think I’m about due. [Yo, powers that be! You caught that right?]

  2. I’m always intrigued by what WordPress throws up as the “related posts” and today’s are rather amusing:

    Possibly related posts: (automatically generated)

    * VD
    * Everything I need to know I learned tomorrow.
    * About the content
    * 10 Questions for Muammar Gaddafi

    Program changers… like it. Cool concept. I think I became my own program changer last year when I moved. Maybe?

    So, how was your Wednesday? Thursday any good? Plans for Friday? :o)

  3. Elusive whores. LOL! Okay so tell us about some of those elusive whores. What exactly have they done to change your outlook on life.

  4. because i use both “hoodies” and “whatevs” in daily conversation PLUS i’m someone’s wife already…

    you hate me.

    but that’s okay because i love you. in a platonic-i’ve-never-met-you-but-i-promise-i’m-not-creepy-and-in-fact-just-really-admire-your-wit sort of way.

    this comment has taken a turn for the worse so i’ll just quit now.

  5. I love this. There are for sure people that come into your life and shake things up. Raise the bar.

    I can’t imagine being with someone who doesn’t challange me and make me want to constantly raise the bar.

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