I hope you all had lovely holidays.
Mine were pretty awesome.
I got to spend time with two of my favourite ladies ever.
When they hung out, it was the cutest thing in the history of things that are cute.
They really bonded. It was amazing. My ovaries still hurt.
Ashley got me a swanky new University of Texas baseball cap. And once broken in, it will become my official go-to baseball cap. I don’t have to tell you just how big of an honour that is.
Or maybe I do have to tell you.
In which case…
Pay closer attention to me, yo. Sheesh.
She also got me a picture frame with a number of pictures that I can swap out. Genius. Three pics of us and one of just her. I am currently going with the one of just her because she is rocking a side braid and it is just painfully cute.
I also received a number of awesome presents from my family and Santa. (My niece gave me a framed picture of her latest school picture — ADORABLE!)
My family seems to enjoy making gift-giving as complicated as humanly possible. It’s part of our charm.
My dad has had a Blackberry for a little over a year. He’s never been satisfied with it. He wanted an Android when he went to the phone store, but they didn’t have the one he wanted in stock. He settled for the Blackberry Bold. And every time he’s looked at an Android since then, he’s made sad puppy face.
My sister and I talked to my mom and decided that we should buy him a snazzy new Samsung Galaxy dealie outright. My mom is kinda amish and saw no need for it. But I am a good convincer and sold her on him being able to use a navigational chart/plotter app when he’s sailing.
[At this point I feel as though I should mention that the story may only be interesting to my immediate family, but I’m this far into it, so…]
She agreed. However Bell Canada doesn’t think you should be allowed to take a phone out of their stores without activating it. And we couldn’t activate it, obviously, without him finding out.
But my mom knows the owner of a store a half hour away and worked out some kind of deal to get it out without activating. (I am guessing she threatened him in some way. )
We were in business.
Around the same time, my mom’s company started blocking employees access to Facebook and a bunch of websites. She was not super psyched about this idea. So…
I convened a meeting with my dad and sister and we decided that my mom needed an Android phone, so she could Facebook and email and text and stuff from her desk. She had been using some kind of pay as you go dealie. Presumably to schedule barn-raisings and quilting bees.
I did the research and found the right phone and package and added it to my account (so she’ll never get a bill.)
I was pretty pleased with how all of that worked out.
And just because I am what some might call a COLOSSAL PAIN IN THE ASS, I decided to set my mom’s phone up early and torture my dad with all the cool gizmos and junk on it.
He kept telling me how envious he was. And how much he hated that he had to wait two more years to get a new phone. And he said things like “I wonder if your mother would want to switch for a slightly-used Blackberry…”
I giggled a lot.
Possibly even a guffaw.
However, somewhere along the way, I kind of fell a little in love with my mom’s phone. It made me look at my own Blackberry with resentment.
I would call my sister to tell her the funny stories of my dad staring longingly at my mom’s phone, and would add things like, “I don’t blame him. It is pretty nice.” Then I would go on and on (apparently) about all the cool things he and my mom will be able to do with their phones.
Sooooo my mom and sister held an impromptu sidebar and decided to get ME a phone too.
Mom getting phone. Only me, my dad and sister knew.
Dad getting phone. Only me, my mom and sister knew.
Peter getting phone. Only mom and sister knew.
Add in that my sister was going to inherit my dad’s Blackberry.
I can’t even begin to tell you how many times I almost accidentally spilled the beans. While researching apps for my mom’s phone, I’d nearly tell my dad about the apps I’d put on his.
It was exhausting.
At gift-opening time, my sister and I gave them each their wrapped phones. Then at the last second, my sister tossed a present to me (in a bigger box) and told me to open at the same time.
I almost immediately put on Words with Friends. (username: “peterdewolf” Let’s play!)
When we started sharing all the stories of the near-misses with saying the wrong things, I complained about having too many Christmas phone secrets in my noggin leading up to Christmas.
My sister delicately told me, “You only knew about TWO phones. I knew about THREE, asshole.”
And then it really felt like Christmas.