his name is voltron

i like you
i know i’m not supposed to tell you
i should wait three days to call
i should act aloof
i should NEVER give myself
a prison tattoo of your name
i’m guessin’
but i try to tell you in little ways
you smile at me
i program the killer robot i’m building
to never harm you
and – and if you are around
i’ll make him say
“hel-lo, pret-ty la-dy.”
cause, you know, that’s how robots talk.
and you’ll ask, “did you make him say that for me?”
and i’ll blush, “yeeeeah.”
and you’ll say, “so sweet!
he’s like your own Cyranobot.”
and i’ll think, “cute AND clever”
and then i’ll blurt out
“marry me!”
and you’ll say, “what?”
and i’ll be all “dairy-free. want something dairy-free?
uhm… rice milk?”
and we’ll both laugh
awkwardly
for different reason
but together
and you’ll say, “i… like rice milk”
and we’ll each have a bowl of cereal.

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  1. Kara says:

    on a first date? never say it on a first date.

  2. Ben says:

    Ummm…I think the newf wrote this and sent it to you.

  3. AshleyD says:

    This made me giggle like a school girl and also burst out laughing. I love it.

  4. Peter DeWolf says:

    Kara: Not even when you bring a robot?

    Ben: Well, as you know, Newfs are just Cape Bretoners that couldn’t find the ferry.

    AshleyD: Score! I figured all comments would be telling me I’m loony.

  5. sjane7272 says:

    You are too funny. I love it.

  6. JenBun says:

    You are loony.

    But also charming and adorable.

    :D

  7. don’t wait – just call . . . anyone cute AND clever will appreciate it.

  8. Noelle says:

    This makes me wonder if robots are lactose intolerant, vegan, or just prefer rice milk as I do.

  9. Kara says:

    robots fall into “gadgets” for me so maybe…

  10. Megan says:

    I really like this. It’s so quirky and light, with its own Peterness charm.

  11. maddy says:

    An aside… My mum calls peanut butter “peanut paste” and get’s a twitchy look in her eye when she says “No cow was involved in the process, so It’s Just Not Butter. Ok?”
    I have the same feeling for rice milk, so I was waiting for “you like rice milk? ah… he he he. Sick ‘er Voltron.”

  12. BS says:

    I’m now 83.7% certain I dated you in a former life. You were called “Mike” then and suffered a massive head injury shortly after we met.

  13. Chloe says:

    I want to post this on my facebook

  14. Anna says:

    I love this.

    That is all.

    (Non-killer robot on a first date: genius)

  1. December 29, 2009

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