here’s the thing about heartbreak

Hi, future wife.

I’ve had my heart broken in two relationships.

One I saw coming. I even agreed with it, mostly, if not with the way it was done, or what was done right after.

The other was an absolute knockout punch.

You like them so, so much, but they just… don’t like you back. At least not enough. And that is a terrible crushing feeling. It can make it hard to breath.

I’m writing a novel right now and one of the characters says, “Getting dumped is like having someone do an in-depth audit of everything you are, and everything you can be, and then just deciding, ‘Naw. Not for me.'”

It’s fucking terrible.

It can be difficult not to become bitter.

It makes you doubt everything. The relationship. All relationships.

Even yourself.


People tell you that “the strongest steel is forged by the fires of hell.” I don’t really think that going through heartbreak is about becoming tougher or stronger afterwards. While I think you need to be tough and strong to get through it, I think it is about coming out of it more sensitive. To yourself. To others.

It is, of course, cliche to say that it is someone else’s loss. But sometimes it is. You know what you bring to the table. You know what you would do for them. You know how much time and effort you have and would continue to put into the relationship. You know everything great and amazing you’re going to accomplish. You know how supportive you have been and would be again.

You KNOW all of that.

You can scream it from the mountains.

You can point out that you deserve and have earned a second chance a thousand times over. I mean, Jesus, have you ever even heard of anyone who deserved a second chance more?

But, if they aren’t listening, or refuse to see it, there is nothing you an do about except feel your heart and soul getting battered to the verge of complete destruction.

Until you’re ready to dust yourself off again.

I always say that with each relationship I become a better boyfriend. A better person. I get smarter. I get better at seeing things from someone else’s point of view. I get more open-minded and flexible.

For me, a broken heart is a kinder heart.

I truly become a better version of myself.

Love, I really, really hope that you’re my next relationship.

You’re going to be in for such a treat.





photo credit: WolfS♡ul via photopin cc

2 thoughts on “here’s the thing about heartbreak

  1. this is beautiful. and so very, very true. i think everyone who goes through a breakup from here on out needs to be emailed this by their best friend. kudos, high fives, cross country hugs, and m&ms to you, my friend.

  2. Oh man. I’ve just been getting meaner with each heartbreak! Hahaha. Really though, I don’t know if heartbreak has made me more compassionate, but it has certainy taught me one thing, and that is that whether it’s their loss or not, there is just no point of trying to convince someone of your worth if they’ve decided you aren’t the one for them. I’ve said it before, and I’m sure I’ll say it again: the worst kind of love potion is the one that works.

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