Hi, future wife.
I have a lot of female friends. And, for whatever reason, many of them have asked for my take on their dating situations over the years.
Most of my advice has just been pointing out the things they already know, but for which their hearts and minds required a second opinion.
One recurring theme though has been the wondering.
The not knowing how he feels. The not understanding why he does what he does.
The female mind is a glorious thing. It’s capable of analyzing a tonne of data, while solving work problems, planning a dinner party and coming up with a fairly decent argument for why a vampire wouldn’t just burst into flame in daylight. (It would though.)
The downside of this is, when there are blanks, it will definitely fill them in.
And it will fill them in with the worst case scenarios.
They will torture the woman.
And it has always bothered me how unfair this is.
I think it’s cruel to let someone wonder. To leave them in a grey area.
Now I know that some fellas will tell you that there are women who don’t want to know too much. Women who will pull away if you show how you feel.
To those fellas I would say…
I don’t think those women are ready for a real grown-up relationship.
Maybe they’re a little damaged or scared or something. And hopefully they’ll overcome those things some day.
I’d say run.
Unless he loved her.
Then I’d say fight.
Fight for as long as your heart can take the battering.
Or until she lets you in.
And if she does let you in, you tell her how you feel.
Whispered “I love you”s are beautiful.
Shouted “I love you”s are life.
And people might complain about your public displays. They might roll their eyes at your loveyness.
Listen, I wouldn’t want to be in a relationship that didn’t excite me that much.
Men should say it.
Reassuring someone isn’t bonus behavior, it should always be a given.
But that’s not how things work, future wife.
Life is full of unknowns.
Very few things are ever guaranteed.
Not money. Not health.
Every day there are things to worry and wonder and stress about.
My love will never be one of those things.