Thank you for SWINGERS.
Did you folks know that Warner Chappell – a militant off-shoot of the Warner Music Group – owns the rights to the “Happy Birthday” song?
They paid $15 million for those rights.
I also may have made up the part about them being militants.
They’ve owned the rights for 16 years, and I’d love to know how much of that 15 mill they’ve recouped.
They claim that “unauthorized public performances are illegal” unless they are paid royalties.
What constitutes “public?”
Is it the same definition as the one for “public nudity?” You know, just askin’…
Other than it being unenforceable, it is just plain silly.
Hmmm… I think I’m going to copyright orgasms. Anytime anyone has one, I’ll —
Hey! I heard that! Send me $10. And your phone number. Mrrrrooooowwwrrrrrr.
On the plus side, the copyright expires in 2030.
But, what are we to sing in the meantime?
“For He’s A Jolly Good Fellow?”
Don’t make me puke.
I guess once again it falls on my shoulders to do something about it.
As you all well know, I’m only an award-winning lyricist. Someone else will have to handle the music.
So, it’s another birthday.
You made it through the year.
Let’s all get together,
And raise a little cheer.
Unless the cake is stale.
That’ll ruin the day.
Don’t cheap on the hotdogs.
Ballpark franks all the way.
Who invited these wingnuts?
People I’d never choose.
Enough with all the potato chips,
Break out the friggin’ booze.
Still, I hope you enjoy your birthday,
Sorry the present is so small.
But, I don’t feel too guilty,
‘Cause you didn’t buy me fuuuuuck allllllllllllllllllllllll.