Give and take…
Blah blah blah nothing to write about blah blah.
Today, dumplings, I am going to tell you three facts about me.
And here they are:
1) Despite what the picture in the header (look up) seems to indicate, I totally have an upper lip. And, while I’m no lipologist, I think it is a fairly standard upper lip. You can’t see it, but I am making faces now to prove it is there.
2) You are never going to receive a text from me in text speak. I just can’t do it. If I want to know how you are doing, I am going to type out “How are you?” I even use commas. Of course, I don’t mind if you do it. I probably won’t even notice. I am not sure what my deal is with it. It’s not like I feel too mature to do it — says the guy currently listening to Dashboard Confessional’s MTV Unplugged album. I have strange rules.
3) The universe likes to mess with me when it comes to receiving gifts. No matter who is giving them, or what the occasion, usually at least one gift just doesn’t work out — through no fault of the gifter. From this Christmas alone…
a) Despite their willingness to ship Lids.com gift cards to Canada, you can’t actually order hats with them to be delivered to Canada. Gah? I’m no Alex P. Keaton, but that seems like an odd business practice to me. Now I am going to have to charm a dirty American friend or family member into acting as a baseball cap mule.
b) I received three shirts that don’t fit.
My sister: You don’t look like an XXL.
Peter stretches arms forward and sleeves end up halfway up his forearms.
My sister: Hmm. Oh well.
(They’ll just be swapped. No biggie.)
c) Remember how I was looking for “Her” for Christmas? Well, my family didn’t find her. I’m not sure how hard they really looked, but whatever. Instead, they went out to get the iPod Nano dealie. However, after doing some research they settled on this little dude instead. And I actually was more pleased with it than I would have been with the iPod. I was charging it up on Christmas Day when it konked out. Seemed odd, but I left it charging. The next day I went to check it and it was completely dead. Nothing. Sometimes consumer electronics are duds out of the box. It happens.
I mentioned it to my sister. My mother jumped in and demanded it back. The next day she forced my father to drive her to a store an hour and a half away — in a snow storm — to swap it for a new one. That night I plugged it in.
The next day it was also dead. I fielded many questions about whether I was doing it right — “Uhm… I think I can manage to plug it into a USB port.”
I got two duds in a row, from two different stores. What are the odds?
[My mother again reclaimed the broken machine. And when the dust settled this time, this gorgeous beast ended up in my greedy little hands. I love it. I’ve already put a bunch of music, a David Sedaris audio book, an episode of Oz and a bunch of pics of the ACN on it.]
So, yeah, presents often don’t work out for me. I’d be afraid if a girlfriend gave me a gift certificate for free hugs. The next day I’d wake up and she’d have lost her arms in a trasher accident. Where am I meeting girls that run thrashers, you wonder. Don’t ask me about my business, nosy.
Enough about me. (As if that is even possible. Sheesh.) Tell us one thing about you. And it has to be about YOU. Don’t try to pull any “Despite not having hips or legs, whales have both hip bones and leg bones”* business. And it can’t be something you yoinked from your “100 Things…” post. Tell us the first thing that pops into your head.
[* This is true.]