Girls, Lisa. Boys kiss girls.
In what will come as a surprise to, well, no one at all, Lance Bass of ‘NSYC has come out.
I mean, did you not see 2001’s seminal classic “On The Line?” He had no interest in Emmanuelle Chriqui. (Has there ever been a non-hot Emmanuelle?) That was clear. It was like watching old episodes of “The Brady Bunch.” We now know why there was no real sexual chemistry between Mr. & Mrs. Brady. If Florence Henderson can’t put the pop in your weasel… I mean, mrrrrroooowwwwrrrrr.
This news is right up there with the shocking admissions of Ellen and Rosie O’Donnell. And finding out that water is wet.
I’d be more surprised – and, frankly, amused – if one of The Village People came out as straight.
Preferrably the cowboy.
In this day and age, I still find it shocking when people actually care. Especially people who don’t yet partake in earlybird dinners.
Even in my small town, things are much better than they used to be. I remember in my youth, hearing about someone having a gay relative. There’d be whispers, I tells ya.
Then I went to the gay-friendliest university around. My first year there, during Gay Pride week, the school newspaper had a picture of a dude going down on another dude on the front page.
That’ll culture-shock the smalltown right out of you.
Actually, during frosh week, some male friends and I went to visit a guy we had gone to high school with. We were in his room chatting when his roomie came in. We’d never met the guy before and he entered without saying a word. He locked the door behind him. He then stared each one of us down for an uncomfortably long period of time. Finally, he bellowed, “There is going to be a violent homosexual rape in here tonight, boys!”
He was kidding.
On last night’s “Big Brother,” Marcellus admitted to his mancrush on Kaysar. He referred to him as his “Iraqi Peach.” As far as I can tell, such a thing doesn’t really exist. Date plams are actually the most popular fruit in Iraq. (I am opting to ignore the urge to include one of the four “date palm” jokes I’ve come up with.) Yes, these are the kinds of things I look up when in front of the computer.
Can you imagine if Kaysar reciprocated his feelings?
A black gay guy marrying an Iraqi dude. The U.S. would completely implode.
And you can bet that couple would NEVER get a table at Denny’s.